Posts Tagged ‘gay marriage’

Reviewing Wedding Planning Books: And The Planning Begins

Posted on January 6th, 2011 by cynthia. 9 Comments

cynthia
Bio: Quirky, Jane of All Trades with natural hair and a penchant for dresses and high heeled shoes. I met my baby off of one of those free dating websites in March and we bonded over vegetarianism and our mutual love of Brazil. Flash forward and here we are and I couldn't be happier. Life is short and so am I (she's not but that's okay).

Since our engagement the boo and I have signed up for numerous sites catering to brides and weddings. I am impressed that she is as into this planning as I am, heck, I’m even surprised that I’m enjoying it because we both aren’t that big on all the wedding hoopla (me more than her); so I really enjoy that we are bonding over this experience. I already purchased my first book – I had to wait until we were engayged to buy it – mainly because I wasn’t sure if she was going say no or yes. So as soon as the engagement was official, I bought OffBeat Bride, I haven’t read much of it and I’m not sure how much it will help me in my planning; I will be honest that currently it is not that much of an exciting read but I haven’t given up on it yet.

Viva le OffBeat Bride!

(more…)

Posted in , , 9 Comments »

5 Takes: Family & Fear

Posted on October 1st, 2010 by Erica. 4 Comments

Erica
Wedding Date: 17 April 2010 and 16 October 2010
Bio: My wife Alex is the medic, the Brit, the music & book lover, and the most compassionate woman I've ever known. I'm the writer, the pancake maker, the American living with her in London, and completely smitten with her. With the help of much family and friends, we've already thrown one amazing wedding in Cornwall, England, and now we're gearing up for a 'country kitsch' ceremony & party in Northern California--we can't wait for October!

How could I be worried with family as awesome as this?

Not going to lie: my biggest fear about the wedding is that someone is gonna show up with a shotgun at our wedding intending to wield it in an unwieldy way–all because we’re gay. The thought is so out there, I don’t even know how to describe it to you. It’s a fear based in newspaper headlines and jokes about my rural county but still, scary sh*t in the wee hours of the morning.

Mostly though, it’s not a family member in this fear that’s doing the gun pointing. Another truth: I’m not sure how some of my family members are or will be at the wedding. But when I’m not freaking myself out with hate-crime scenarios, I do occasionally make up the dialogue that may or not be going on in my extended family’s minds. Partly, it’s because I didn’t really come out to my family. Like, really. I just sent the–count’em up–83 of them a Save the Date via email last November with a clear distinction that I was marrying an Alexandra and not an Alexander, not matter that she went by Alex. With that in mind, what’s going on in their minds? Do they think it’s weird that I’ve married a woman? Are they trying to figure out which one of us is the groom? What will they think of Alex? Are they for or against gay marriage? How much does it matter and how much of it is family?

(more…)

Posted in , , 4 Comments »

5 Takes: On Marriage

Posted on June 9th, 2010 by Wasabi. 3 Comments

Wasabi
Wedding Date: Spring 2011
Bio: I just finished up my MBA while planning our wedding, learning about Judaism, and hitting the ski slopes at every opportunity. My fiancée, Ginger, helps disabled kids here in New Orleans when she’s not reading or snowboarding. We are getting married on May 21, 2011 at a funky art museum in a traditional Jewish ceremony followed by an unconventional wedding reception.

This month, I have been really focused on marriage and what it means. During May, we celebrated my graduation and mourned a death in my family. It’s a lot to be handed in one month. Soon, Ginger will finally meet the last of my extended family, and of course, it kills me that it will not be under better circumstances. This has reminded me that marriage is about supporting each other through life’s joys and hardships. We are really living this right now. When I realized that my new in-laws want to come and be a support through the funeral even though they didn’t know my grandmother, I rediscovered how much it means to me to have this new family.

Marriage is also about supporting each other’s life ambitions.

(more…)

Posted in , , , 3 Comments »

5 Takes: Marriage

Posted on June 8th, 2010 by Mandy. 5 Comments

Mandy
Wedding Date: May 29th, 2010
Bio: I am currently in the process of of living happily-ever-after with my amazing spouse, Bek; brightening up our drudgery of grad school and non-profit administration by camping, traveling, drinking on the balcony, and planning the expansion of our family! Our recent projects have included throwing the best New York City wedding EVER.

This is a post written before Mandy’s wedding last weekend! She’s now a married lady!!

While the wedding is only a few days away, I’ve been a wife for 17 months already.  The question I have spent a lot of time answering lately, posed by myself and others, has been ”Why have a wedding if you’re already married?” -  so the question of “Why marriage?” hasn’t been knocking around my brain for a while.  But the question of “Why marriage?” was one that I spent a lot of time pondering, even before I was set to be married.

Back before I was a part of a marriage, I devoted my academic studies to marriage and the queer identity.  I wrote my graduate thesis on the topic of how queer identity is influenced by the “performance” of contemporary interpretations of wedding traditions and the legal, social, and economic factors of marriage and the wedding industry.  *Insert snyde academic remark about the social construction of “love” and the perils of heteronormative sterilization of queer identity here.* (For the record, I was very much in favour of marriage and saw it as having a great deal of positive potential for shaping the future of queer community-building… but anyway…)

(more…)

Posted in , , 5 Comments »