What to call LGBT attendants? Alternative names for bridesmaids and groomsmen
8 Oct
With more and more couples branching out and reconstructing their wedding to be more personal and less dependent on the conventions of the wedding industry, many are having a hard time with the concept of bridesmaids and groomsmen.
Both terms imply not only that a heterosexual couple is picking friends who happen to be the same gender as each of them, but they also come with a lot of heavy baggage. The terms make a lot of modern couples feel icky. Modern couples may want to pick friends who may or may not be the same gender as them; they also may a lot of the connotations surrounding being a bridesmaid or groomsmen (i.e. that one’s bridesmaids are like attendant virgin servants waiting for their special day as well…not to be melodramatic or anything).
To shed the craziness that has come to be associated with being an attendant, a ton of couples are naming them something entirely different. Also, with attendants and couples who are genderqueer or non-traditionally gendered, many couples are moving towards gender neutral terminology. So You’re EnGAYged wants to give couples as many options as possible, so below are some completely gender neutral terms along with some gendered ones that you can use if relevant as long as you respect the gender-identification of your attendants.
Gender neutral:
Beloveds
Agents of Awesome (my favorite!)
Team *insert couple name here* i.e. Team Kelly & Natalie
All Star Team
Female/brides specific:
Bridespeeps
Bridal Brigade (Steady Happy)
Bridal Babes
Wonder Women
Fembot
Bridespeople
Male/grooms specfic:
Stand-Up Boys
Dudes
Tall, dark, and handsome (or short, pale, and awkward?)
Groomspeeps
Groovymen
Groomspeople
Thank you to Kvetch Board for providing so many of these name ideas.
Hey, don’t forget mine: Bridesmates. :) Great post.
I’ve been having some trouble with this one. I keep referring to them as “bridesmaids,” but I’m not sure how happy my brother is with that one. I’m a fan of “agents of awesome,” as well as “bridesmates.” Lots of good suggestions. Thank you.
Those are great! I refer to them as “Attendants” on all my paperwork, so that the Bride/Bride or Groom/Groom or Bride/Groom can tell ME how they refer to their peeps.
Groovymen!
We had honor attendants. My brother stood up with with me, and her sister stood up with her.
It worked for us!
We each have two attendants… mine are both girls so I call them my bridesmaids. Nicole’s are both guys so we call them her bridesmen.
Great post. Thanks, I’ve been going with Honor Attendant for my brother “Maid of Honor”. This helps with the women. We can give each side it’s own name.