So You're EnGAYged

From Jessica and Joyce: We recently got married on August 22, 2010 at Windows on the Water in Sea Bright New Jersey.

We were fortunate enough to meet through two of our best friends just over 2 years ago. They saw us both through some really difficult relationships and knew that we were extremely compatible. At Asbury Park Pride they saw us “double take” while looking at each other and knew that we definitely had to meet. Not long after that they invited us both to a party and we ended up exchanging numbers (Joyce was actually more shy than Jessica so Jessica’s best friend ended up putting Jess’s number in her phone.)

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Sandra Costello, one of our pro-gay vendors and their photographer, had the sweetest summary of Eric and Chee-Seng’s wedding I had to include: They were clearly in love and wanted their day filled with good friends, family and many traditions. They each wrote their own vows, broke a little glass, danced a little hora, and then had a tea ceremony in which family and friends shared advice for a happy marriage. It was so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes more than once. And I wasn’t the only one crying. It seems the Yaffe men are big cryers (Eric, his brothers and dad), which I found to be quite endearing.

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A big thanks to Lisa Nelson, one of our pro-gay vendors, for getting all the info and photographs of this wedding rounded up for us.

For decades, LaWanda was unhappy in marriage. In an effort to conform to society, she stayed in unhappy marriages. Page and her family have always known that she was a lesbian, but had just come out of an unhappy relationship when she meant LaWanda. They were both thrilled when DC passed the same sex marriage law. To be legally married was a dream of theirs.

So, with very little money, they started preparations for their trip. Since they didn’t know anyone in the area, they hired us to get it together for them – find and book the venue, find an officiant, find a photographer, help them with timing, help them with travel – and make sure everything ran smoothly. We stayed in close contact via text. We accompanied them to the Court house, and picked up their marriage certificate. We witnessed this beautiful union – and cheered with strangers at the Lincoln Memorial as they took pictures. That was so cool. Something I will never forget.

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It’s honestly hard to find wedding videos I would ever watch, let alone enjoy, of other people’s wedding day. But Pro-Gay vendor Studio 67 sent us this video my way and I was freakin out. Now THIS is something I would have loved to have from our wedding.

Our Favourite Moment of the Day?
-Our Hug in the church.
- After hearing Reverend Debbie Shanks say “Now you may kiss your wife” I could finally embrace my beautiful bride. This was followed by an overwhelming applause full of love & support. It was at this moment everything sunk in. We did it! After 6 years of loving each other, and 9 months of planning – we were married! We were overflowing with so much joy that we spontaneously hugged. It was a genuine & unplanned moment that we will never forget.

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From Nia and Liza: Our wedding could probably be described in three words: New England preppy. We wanted something fairly traditional, but with enough unique touches to make it feel like “us”. Since Nia is a history teacher, holding the wedding at a museum just felt apropos. We even shuttled people there in a school bus. We tried to keep everything pretty clean and simple, focusing on our guests and enjoying the day!

Our ceremony was quite personal, thanks to our officiant’s help and hard work, and then we just had a great time with all of the most important people in our lives. It was Nia’s grandmother’s birthday, so we had everyone sing to her (there are great photos of us hugging her, and her in a dance circle). All in all, we just really had fun and lived in the moment!

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Thanks to Lara Swanson Photography (aka the other co-founder of So You’re EnGAYed) for getting us these pictures.

The first wedding we had our very close friends and relatives read meaningful excerpts. The second wedding the dress was very meaningful and the legal ceremony was meaningful to my partner (so just being able to become legal somewhere close).

Why did we get legally married? We got this question a lot because as long as we live in Virginia our marriage wont be recognized so people wondered what was the point if we weren’t going to move to Maryland or DC. For me (Ciara) it was about the symbolism more than the actual legality. Growing up I was taught to believe that it was wrong for a person to be gay. It was important to me to be able to go somewhere where my relationship and ultimately my marriage was validated.

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I love seeing the Washington, DC weddings get submitted because it seems so unreal that they legalized gay marriage in my hometown. I just love seeing that legal marriage certificate!

When we set out to design the overall theme and program of our wedding day, our most important goal was to make the occasion uniquely expressive of our personalities and shared interests. We thought hard about ways to incorporate modern, non-traditional touches into our concept of a traditional American wedding celebration.

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