Archive for the ‘Real Weddings’ Category

I submitted my So You’re EnGAYged blogger application on January 22, 2011 and my first blog went live on March 21.  It is crazy that almost 8 months have gone by since I started detailing my wedding plans here.  And now, I am posting for the last time.  Sad times.

But, what has not been a sad time is connecting with all of you and getting your advice from what should go in our water glasses to questions of tradition and etiquette.  It was also cool to get married; for real and all kinds of legal.

Well, before I get to the my wedding planning/blogging experience precis, I thought I would share some honeymoon pictures and thoughts.

We went to Aruba for our honeymoon and it was amazing.  We had a room right on the beach and there was a hammock right outside of our room.  The water was warm and the sun was warmer.   It was the perfect type of vacation after months of stressful planning.

Dave of course needs a good book to read when traveling, and Betty White’s bio did the trick!

This is taken from the lounge chair right outside our room.  Dave does have a good eye for pictures!

If you remember my post about our Long Island Thunderstorm, this is the handmade cabana outfit my childhood neighbor made us.  Dave has a coordinating  one!

One of the coolest things about Aruba is that the sun sets at approximately the same time every day of the year, right around 6:30 p.m.  This was one of the best parts of the trip;  grabbing a cool drink and watching the sun set.

The north side of the island is very rocky and has a desert feel.  We went horse back riding along this area and along the beach.  It was, for sure, a highlight of the trip. Although the trotting does damage a boy in a particular way that lingers.

Yes, yes, the perfunctory write-in-the-sand-to-mark-the-occasion picture.  But, hey, when in Rome, or whatever.

When we got home from the honeymoon, the last thing we promised ourselves is that we would go out to a nice dinner to bookend the whole experience.  This was nice, because we had enough time away from the stress of it all to really reflect on the whole experience. Dave looks pretty hot, and relaxed, right?

My Final Thoughts

To change the tone here a little bit, I wanted to talk about some more serious final thoughts about our wedding and marriage.

First, one thing I never did talk about here, was right before I started blogging, we lost our dog, Mandy.  It was sudden, and we planned to have her in the wedding in some way.  She was there though, in both spirit and in picture.  Often when I wrote blogs here I did open up about my feelings on a variety of issues, but understood that people really wanted to hear about things connected to the wedding planning process.  But since I feel a bit more connected to you all now, I thought I would share a tribute video we made for her.  I think in part I did not talk about her because of how much it still really hurts to not have her in our lives.

Our Mandy Baby

Beyond the fact that I LOVE this picture, I also think it sums up all of our reasons for having our wedding: to be surrounded by the ones we love.  Save for one nephew, this is the totality of both of our families.  I am not sure I can fully appreciate nor articulate what it meant to us to be within and around so much love, and not just for that day.

 

Photo by Calypso Rae Photography

But the reality is that we are now onto the married part of the wedding planning.  I read/heard the following the other day that went something like “people should put more thought and planning into their marriage than their wedding day.”  This is so true.  Because it really is just one day.  One amazing, beautiful day, but still, just 6 or so concentrated hours.  It is the happily-ever-after part that I think people forget to worry about.  And it ain’t easy, for sure.

Dave and I are lucky that we found each other and we have worked on our marriage, and settled into our life, well before we got married.   I am sure marriage advice abounds, but if I could offer one, succinct thing, it would be this: find the reason why you fell in love, and remember that in times when your present feelings of love might be otherwise.  Nothing about the pairing of two people is easy.  As a breed we tend to be selfish and unable to recognize another person’s reality.  And while the idea of two people spending the rest of their life together is beautiful  in the abstract, people have to be more practical  in the specific to make it work.

What I think the below picture illustrates is what I think makes love and life work.  To steal a scene from Love! Valoure! Compassion!:  (said by Bobby, who is blind in the movie, from the back seat of Perry and Aurthur’s car) “I think…you love each other very much. I think you will stick it out, whatever. I think right now you’re holding hands. I think that when Perry has to take his hand from yours, Arthur, to steer in traffic, he puts it back in yours as soon as he can. I think this is how you always drive. I think…this is how you go through life.”

Photo by Calypso Rae Photography

So, I bid you ado, from this wedding planning journey, now onto our life fulfilling one.  If you care, please follow me at My Parent’s Son, my blog I post to from time to time. You can also follow me on Twitter:   http://twitter.com/MichaelMancini5

It has been what I can only classify as a pleasure to spend some time with you all.

Thank you.

 

Jen and Meghan: Jen and I met through a mutual friend, on a whim, and not as a set up. I was a hair stylist in LA and needed a model my first week, with no notice. My friend called Jen since she worked in LA. It was not love at first site and we barely spoke. But Jen was nice enough to let me crash at her place in Long Beach while I was commuting 2 hours to the salon. I soon got a place in Long Beach (I didn’t just fall for Jen) and we began a friendship which quickly led to where we are now.
Neither of us are great planners, nor can we keep a secret, so the engagement was in our typical style! We signed the Domestic Partner papers, had them notarized at the post office, and didn’t sweat at all! We headed for a great weekend in Palm Springs, won a little money, and ended the weekend with a trip to the jewelry outlet. With bejeweled fingers we set out to plan our reception. It’s been smooth sailing from there on out, surprisingly.

Photography: Pro-Gay Vendor Holly Steen of Cakes and Kisses Wedding Photography

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It’s high time we featured a super-fun summery shoot that includes baseball. Enjoy!

 

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Mari and Grace: Grace and I met at a birthday party a few years ago in Denver, Colorado. I was a graduate student with a one year position in Boulder at the time, and wasn’t looking for anything serious. However, Grace knew how to “hold on loosely” and seem to intuitively understand what I needed in a partner. Nine months after we meet it was time for me to head back to Minneapolis, Minnesota. Despite vowing that I would never do long-distance dating again, we just couldn’t let go of the loving and joyful relationship we’d begun to build. We somehow managed two years of long distance – trying to see each other at least every 5 or 6 weeks and taking longer visits when my graduate work allowed. I was finally able move “home” to Denver last September. We will celebrate our 4th anniversary in the fall.

Photographer: Pro-gay vendor Timothy Faust Photography


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Rainbow rose bouquets- yes, that’s right. You know you want to see the rest of the photos pro-gay vendor Aubrey Greene sent us.

We got married at Willowdale Estate in Topsfield, MA on a chilly, cloudy, beautiful day surrounded by our families and closest friends. We each had a bridal party of four of our favorite people and created a rainbow theme with their shoes and flowers. The hour or so before the wedding that we got to spend getting ready with our parents, siblings and best friends was a really great way to begin the day and get excited for all of the other things that were to come.

We asked Alyssa’s aunt to perform the ceremony and made a last minute decision to hold it inside so that our guests did not freeze. The ceremony was unique to us and included every person in attendance. After the ceremony, it was all about dessert and dancing. We had cake, an ice cream sundae bar and gigantic, and warm chocolate chip cookies. Guests flowed between the dance floor and the photo booth, which allowed us to capture some awesome memories instantly. The photo booth pictures were pasted in a scrapbook and our guests wrote extra nice notes for us next to their hilarious poses. We really enjoyed looking through the book the next morning.

In the end, despite some seriously stressful moments during the planning phases, our wedding day was exactly what we wanted it to be: unique, colorful, and all about our love!

 

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Thanks to pro-gay vendors, Sara Plus Ryan, for sending us this engagement session from two readers of So You’re EnGAYged who we adore!

I came home from participating in the MS Walk in Carlsbad and I was getting ready for a date later that same evening. I went to meet my date and waited at a bar in Hillcrest, the “gay-borhood” of San Diego, and the person never showed up. So after a few drinks I went home and decided to do some shopping therapy online. I got onto Craigslist San Diego looking to purchase a snowboard for myself. As my search for a snowboard that I liked came up empty handed, I went to check out the Personals section- Women seeking Women. There were a few ads that gave me a laugh and actually made me feel better. Then I came across this one that mentioned it kept getting flagged, so of course, I had to check it out. I opened it up and it was a long essay laying EVERYTHING out as far as expectations and putting out things about herself that may deter others.

Like these are “all my flaws, love ‘em or leave ‘em!” She was very descriptive, blunt, and to the point – there was no room for questions. Having read the whole post, and I did read the WHOLE post, I scrolled to the very end and found two pictures of her. At that moment, I was taken aback by everything I had read and her smile was the icing on the cake, I just had to reply. So I responded to her ad! I later found out that Tami had a bad night and run in with an ex-girlfriend that prompted her to post an angry ad in craigslist of all places. It worked! We are proof that true love can be found in the most unexpected places. Our first date was a day at Disneyland and we have been inseparable since!

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