So You're EnGAYged, A Gay Wedding Blog

Having bloggers who share their planning stories is what Jennifer comes to read. With bloggers opening their lives so much to the blogging world, community at So You’re EnGAYged starts with them.

Happy 1 year to you all!

I stumbled upon SYE one day, and I have been addicted ever since. I am 22-years-old and I just recently came out to my parents, which was a huge deal for me. My parents were amazing through it all. They really were so understanding. I currently am dating my best friend, who I’ve known for 15 years. She is incredible. Today is actually our 11 month anniversary, so today is a special day for us.

I love SYE for every single reason there could possibly ever be. I love that there is a place for same-sex couples to come together and share their lives with anyone who will read. I admire the couples who are a part of this special site.

Being the huge do-it-yourselfer that I am, I tune in daily to see what the brides-to-be have been putting together. Ms.Grrrl, your wedding and projects were amazing!

What I would like to end on, is a big thank you. Keep up the great work and know that you are impacting lives around the world.

Sometimes, just seeing the happiness of couples on this blog inspires our readers. We hope to continue to inspire and bring a smile to Holly’s face even during this tough time.

I love this website. I found it when I began gleefully pre-planning for what I thought was my very own quickly impending gay engagement. I was wrong. It turned out we wanted very different lives and as of three weeks ago, there is neither an impending engagement nor any longer a relationship. Devastated and shell-shocked, I have found myself coming to this site over and over again. I would have thought that looking at all these happy, beautiful couples would be salt in the wound, but it has been so much the opposite. I come to this site every day, see these loving faces, and say to myself “See? See? It’s out there. It’s out there, it exists, and I can find it. I will find it.” It has become one of my greatest sources of hope during what is otherwise a very discouraging time. So, Happy Birthday, So You’re Engayged. You aren’t just for couples who are planning their nuptials; you’re for the rest of us, too, who harbor the hope that one day, those happy engagement photos will contain our smiling faces.

A BIG thanks to Michelle for the kind words about So You’re EnGAYged. Celebrating one year of blogging, it feels so good to hear from our readers. So Michelle is getting a little love too- a starbucks gift certificate to show our appreciation. BTW…go check out her blog Pink Broom.

Happy one-year to your blog! I think I’ve been reading it since it began.

I love this blog and look forward to its posts every day. My fiance & I are a straight couple. Of course, why should that keep me from reading SYE? I love the ideas here, the sentiments expressed, and of course all the real weddings.

We are an interracial couple; I’m black, he’s white. When my fiance was born, interracial marriage was illegal in many states. I’ve spent a good portion of my life fighting racism in every day life, but falling in love with my fiance was the easiest, most natural thing in the world. It’s a shame that we live in a world where the expression of that love could be judged by someone else.

In light of all that, I love that SYE does such a great job discussing LGBT issues as they relate to weddings, and, unlike many wedding blogs, keeping the focus on what matters: love, marriage, and the intention to start a life together. Thank you for being a bright spot in the wedding blogosphere.

Thanks so much to Bernadette Smith, the wedding planner behind 14 Stories for putting this article together. As a wedding planner for years who mostly does LGBT weddings, Bernadette is an invaluable resource and planner for the community. She does wedding all over the USA but is based in Boston, MA.

Wedding Planners are Great!

There’s a wedding planner for every kind of couple – even the couple who are afraid of giving up control and even the couple who love DIY. Wedding planners each have their own specialty, personality and style. We all have areas of strength and most of us are not out to take over your wedding and be pushy, bossy or obnoxious.

For same-sex couples, the #1 reason I suggest a wedding planner is that if you don’t have one, you’ll have to come out over and over again – to the vendors you hire and the vendors you don’t. When the average wedding has 43 vendors, that’s a lot of coming out. A wedding planner should pre-screen vendors for you so you never have to have awkward conversations, see “Bride and Groom” on the contract and so forth.

But beyond all that, wedding planners do a lot of other great things. This the quick rundown of services provided by planners:

• Full service: This is soup to nuts and includes everything from finding you a venue and pro-gay vendors to sending you down the aisle (if you have an aisle, of course). Creating a day of wedding schedule and coordinating and being responsible for all set up and break down is part of this service.
• Partial service: This generally assumes you have a venue but need help nailing down some final gay-friendly vendors, as well as all of the day of coordination services.
• Day of Coordination: This service is typically called Day of Coordination but month of coordination is usually more accurate. This service is provided to couples who have done all the planning themselves but want to make sure their vision is perfectly executed.
• Event Designer: Event designers come up with concepts and themes, colors and artwork that bring together a cohesive vision with your original and personal details. Event designers coordinate flowers, linens, lighting, furniture rentals, signature cocktails and other elements that go into the way your wedding looks and feels.

Note that not all planners are designers and designers are generally not planners.
My own style as a planner? I’m a type A in the body of a type B. As far as my clients can tell, I’m the chill and laid back leader guiding their planning and design process – but I’m secretly anal, highly efficient, and a major advocate for my clients. But that’s just my style…
Are you planning to work with a wedding planner?

Thanks so much to Bernadette Smith, the wedding planner behind 14 Stories for putting this article together. As a wedding planner for years who mostly does LGBT weddings, Bernadette is an invaluable resource and planner for the community. She does wedding all over the USA but is based in Boston, MA.

Your friends are guests at your wedding. Guests! They should be treated like guests! They will probably be giving you a gift. They’ll probably be giving you emotional support through your stressful months of planning! No matter how bridezilla or groomzilla you get, no matter how crafty and Do It Yourself you are, and no matter how low your budget, your friends should not be working at your wedding.

That means: no moving of chairs, no post-wedding clean up or breakdown, no food or bar service, no pseudo-professional photography, no gathering of groups for formal photos and no DJing.

You do have my permission, however, to use your friends in the following ways, and with some exceptions:

· Officiate your wedding ceremony

· Sing or perform music in your wedding ceremony

· Make announcements (as long as there aren’t too many announcements, and as long as only one friend is in charge)

· Make your wedding cake (prior to the wedding day)

· Drop off setup and décor materials

· Some setup assistance (only if you don’t have a wedding planner, and only if those friends are not in the wedding party)

· Videography (only if you have a friend who really enjoys being behind the camera – we all have one of those)

Remember, in most cases, your friends aren’t professionals. If the video or the cake, for example, doesn’t come out perfect, you can’t resent them for it. If they are in charge of wedding setup and oversleep, have a family emergency or a flat tire, you can’t blame them – you’re not paying them.

Are you planning to use your friends’ help on your wedding day?

Are you a reader who loves So You’re EnGAYged because of the real weddings? Or do you love following the bloggers about what they are planning?

Are you a vendor who has booked couples because of So You’re EnGAYged?

Are you a straight couple who is excited about So You’re EnGAYged because you believe in equality?

We would LOVE to hear from you! So You’re EnGAYged will be turning one next week and we would love to feature ideas/thoughts/love notes from our readers every day next week.

If your write up is chosen to be featured, we will send you a $5 starbucks card. So that’s 5 chances to win $5 and enjoy a cup of coffee!

Today is the day DC starts accepting marriage applications for gay couples! So we are twittering and facebooking our little hearts out as new information comes in. We already shared that you can get free cupcakes from Hello Cupcake, pictures of the first couples applying this morning, and that there are no protestors!

Follow us on twitter or facebook to get all the latest news about DC gay marriage today.

I spotted these save the dates on flickr and immediatly emailed Kiera Ormut-Fleishman and Jean-Pierre Gary, the amazing designers behind the invites. They were happy to share their hard work and some info on these lovelies.

We wanted to focus on light and airy colors (pink/peach, and gold).  We found the process incredibly fun to do ourselves. We designed the package in illustrator, ordered a plate and did the letterpress at a local workshop in Brooklyn.  The letterpress took only 2 hours, but the real work was the cutting of the paper and lining of envelopes, as well as addressing and stamps.  We hadn’t imagined we would have taken 3 weeks to get that complete once we were done letterpressing.  We had 109 invites in total mailed.

Our major mistake was trying to gold edge all the cards with a gold pen marker, as that started to come off right away onto our fingers and table (example here).  All of these we couldn’t use because it would just get on our fingers and anyone else’s who would open their envelope.

Wish upon a wedding is an organization dedicated to helping people with terminal illnesses have a wedding- regardless of sexual orientation. I had to blog about this open and amazing resource.

Check them out over here!

Tomorrow is the big day! DC will begin accepting applications for marriage licenses for same-sex couples.

Personally, my head has been swimming with the amount of craziness that you need to go through to get married in DC. So here’s a little help:

• If you are going to apply for your marriage license tomorrow, be prepared to wait. DC has hired extra staff to help but with only 10 couples a day normally applying, it might be crazy.
• Download and fill out the marriage form before heading out to the courthouse.
• Don’t know where to go?

Hours of Operation
Mondays-Fridays: 8:30a.m.-5:00p.m.
Location
Moultrie Courthouse
500 Indiana Avenue, N.W., Room 4485
Washington, D.C. 20001
Main Contact
Phone: (202) 879-4840

• You can NOT get married March 3rd. The earliest DC couples will be able to wed is March 9th. Here’s a link to all the info you could possibly want about the application/waiting process/officiant stuff.
• Expect protesters. Yuk.
• Remember your ID and your cash/money order.

Are you applying to get married tomorrow? Send us your photos/stories and we will post them here! Just email kelly AT soyoureengayged.com