So You're EnGAYged, A Gay Wedding Blog

Rev. Joe Glentz, a U.S. Army veteran, is one of the few midwest vendors on our list, so I was excited to feature him today!

Please tell us a little bit about your business.

I am a nondenominational wedding officiant and I perform wedding ceremonies that the couples I work with prefer. I meet with them in person or through the net and phone calls to put together a ceremony that they would like, whether it is religious, non religious or spiritual in its own way. No matter the reason that couples come to me, I am just glad that I can help them out on one of the happiest days of their lives.

What do you love about what you do?

I like meeting new people, visiting new places and seeing the many varied ways that couples like to celebrate their wedding day. (more…)

I closely go through each application to our vendor list. I had a question for Marie Tyler Wiley about hers, so I gave her a call, and ended up on the phone for close to an hour! She had me rolling on the floor laughing while telling me all about how much she loves what she does. An officiant in Connecticut, Marie specializes in seaside weddings, and was voted the #1 wedding officiant in CT three years running!

How did you get into doing what you do?

I became a Justice of the Peace because of the clod of a JP who married my husband and me a thousand years ago. Seriously…if it took 30 seconds that would be pushing it. To the point: I have never remembered to this day…ever having said…“I do”…that’s how fast the JP was…We then walked around Manhattan for the next 45 minutes w/me questioning my husband…”Are you SURE WE’RE MARRIED????”

He was like…”yeah…I guess so…he said we were”. Duh!

At that moment, way back then… I decided…I would never, ever, let another bride go thru that mini horror show. That’s no way to be married and that’s why I am fanatical about weddings. My mission is to make sure your entire experience, not just my part , the ceremony …is stress free and is full of fun, joy and laughter!!! I’m really good at those three things!!! :) (more…)

Rev. Jill Dillner is an officiant in New Jersey who also does destination weddings. If a couple elopes in NJ, she is even up for traveling back to their home state to perform their real ceremony!

Tell us a little bit about your business!

I perform weddings, funerals and baptisms/naming ceremonies. I also oversee other Rites of Passage like Coming of Age ceremonies, Belly Blessings for pregnant moms, Grandmothering Rituals and Cronings. I think everyone should celebrate the transitions in life. These are times when life has the most meaning and very few people really celebrate them. I am a very irreverent reverend, I like to have fun.

How did you get into doing what you do?

I felt there weren’t enough clergy who were willing to help people with their spirituality versus their religion. To many churches tell you how to live your life, instead of supporting you as you live your life. I believe we are all heading to the same place, just on different paths to get there. People need clergy to stand by them and be with them at times of transition. Sometimes transition is sad and scary, sometimes is joyful and beautiful, either way, people of God should be ready to assist, not sermonize.

If you have worked at/done work for a gay wedding, what is one thing you had to change your assumptions about?

I had to stop assuming everyone was comfortable with gay weddings. I have been exposed to vendors that will work a gay wedding for the business, but are not really gay-friendly. Other than that, I feel they are really the same as non-gay weddings.

Do you have a favorite “moment” that happens while you’re doing your job?

I love when the couple says I do and recite their vows. It is my favorite part of a wedding ceremony.

Rave and picture time!

“I want to say thank you so much for the amazing job you did at our ceremony. You made a special day even better. Your words, delivery and humor were exactly what we wanted. For the rest of the evening our guests were commenting on how beautiful the ceremony was. You really figured us out and performed a ceremony that we will never, ever forget. I can tell you that many of our friends and family will be passing along your name to other couples who are getting married and it would be our pleasure to be a reference if you ever needed one. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for making our day even more special.” – Kristal M. & April O.

In speaking with Celia Milton, it becomes absolutely apparent that she deeply cares about her profession and her couples. She truly believes that “the whole process, from the first phone call (well, maybe even from the first time the couple looks at a potential officiant’s website) should feel exciting, lighthearted, and comfortable”. By the way, Celia, I would love to know more about this chocolate sharing! :)

Tell us a little bit about your business!

I am a civil celebrant based in New Jersey, and I have been performing weddings and comittment ceremonies for about five years. I try to make the planning as fun and meaningful as the ceremony itself, and I encourage my couples to think out of the box and create a day that is truly personal, significant, and joyous. Chocolate sharing? Ring bearer dog? Tribal drummers? Handfastings? Why not!

How did you get into doing what you do?

I started and ran an event planning /catering company for about 18 years (ouch, that hurts), so I’d always been interested in the milestones that mark our lives. I had graduated with my divinity degree from Union Seminary, in the City of New York, just about to register for another semester at Fordham, in a program for spiritual direction. The universe apparantly has a great sense of humor and spontenaiety, and instead, I was moved to to start training at Celebrant USA, in Montclair. Although I love celebrations and ritual, I never really thinking that I’d actually become a “real” officiant. Two weeks after I graduated, I was doing my first ceremony! Thank you universe!

What do you wear when you’re doing what you do?

Usually a cool black suit and some great funky jewelry. I can wear a black robe if a couple wants that look, but in any case, I really prefer to be basically invisible. I want the attention to be on the couple, not me.

How is your business “pro-gay”, or how have you changed your business to be gay-friendly?

One of the reasons I decided to “grow” this practice was because I was disturbed by the way many couples, both gay and traditional, were handled by mainline churches. I was also keenly aware that many couples without religious affiliations felt there was no where to turn for help in creating a significant and moving ceremony. A decision that is this important deserves an officiant’s total support and enthusiasm, not a grudging agreement to “make it legal”. To me, the right to marry is as much a personal civil rights issue as it is a loving committment.

What do you love about what you do?

What’s not to love! I meet the most interesting and diverse couples, I get to hear their love stories, and be part of a day that is like no other in their life. I could be officiating in a cow pasture one day, a prison the next, a museum the next, Yankee Stadium after that. It’s all just so much fun, in addition to being so heartfelt. My practice renews my faith in life and love every day.

If you have worked at/done work for a gay wedding, what is one thing you had to change your assumptions about?

I didn’t have to change my assumptions, about any of my couples. Each wedding proves to me that there are as many wedding styles as they are couples; from very traditional to completely NOT. It’s all up to the couple, I just want to help them create the ceremony that is right for them.

Do you have a favorite “moment” that happens while you’re doing your job?

Wow…so many moments, so little time… I love reading their questionnaires for the first time, getting to know them better and beginning to think about what to write…but I love that first kiss during the ceremony too. All that being said, my favorite moments are the ones we can’t plan; the unpredictable ring bearers and flower girls; the brides and grooms who smile through happy tears, the unruly dogs in the wedding party. A wedding isn’t a tableau, like “The Last Supper” ; it’s a fluid and spontaneous happening, and many times, the unexpected can be the unforgettable.

What should couples look for in an officiant or celebrant?

You should feel that your celebrant is a happy, supportive partner to collaborate with as you move towards your wedding day; someone who listens to your ideas, makes good suggestions, and acts as a resource for any questions you have. You should feel sure that your officiant wants to make your ceremony more than you could ever hope for, and has the skills, the energy and the compassion to follow that through.

Rave time!

“Our families and friends are all commenting on our unique and personal ceremony. Everyone is asking, “where did you find her?”. Finding Celia was a gift. We instantly felt comfortable with her and enjoyed the entire process of working with Celia to create a ceremony that reflected our personalities and included our varied family traditions. If you are looking to create a meaningful ceremony, you definitely want to contact Celia Milton.”

“Celia is amazing, she works magic. In the short amount of time she has to interact with you, she has the fabulous talent of really nailing down your personalities and writing a ceremony that reflects this. Everything based on the individuals, it is not a cookie cutter mold. Celia is full of many wonderful ideas & suggestions, and she knows how to deliver. Our wedding was perfect, and her words allowed us to shine.”

“Celia provided an extremely unique and personal ceremony for us. Everyone who attended our wedding was spellbound by our love story as she told it, tailoring our ceremony to who we are, why we were getting married and what we valued. It was one of a kind and started our wedding day off right. Not only did it bring all of our guests intimately into our wedding day, but it reminded everyone there of why they got married, or the love that they’re looking for.”

With Anita Vaughan, couples can have the ceremony that they truly want, a ceremony that reflects who they are. The sky is truly the limit; as she says, “I want to be the person that says ‘yes’ when other people have said ‘no’.” What an awesome outlook on unions – read on for more about Anita!

Tell us a little bit about your business!

As a Celebrant, my mission is to create ceremonies that celebrate the love of each couple. I want everyone to have the opportunity to tell their story, while staying true to themselves.

What do you love about what you do?

I have the greatest job in the world! I love meeting people who are in love and happy – it may sound corny, but it makes me so excited to be a part of their celebration. When I’m working on a couple’s ceremony I fell like I fall a little bit in love with them, too!

How did you get into doing what you do?

I became a Celebrant though the Celebrant Foundation, where I studied rituals and ceremonies and earned my certification in Ceremonies for Couples. I knew for a long time that I wanted to be an Officiant, but I didn’t just want to get ordained online and hang out a shingle, so to speak. I wanted to be educated and be able to work with couples as a knowledgeable source, so I chose the route of becoming a Celebrant.

What do you wear when you’re doing what you do?

My birthday suit. Just kidding! It really depends on the ceremony. I have a black pantsuit that I wear for evening weddings, a dress for summer ceremonies…. but I’d dress as a ninja if someone wanted to do a costume party wedding! Well, ninja wouldn’t be my first choice for a costume, but I have been dying to work on a theme wedding. My fantasy is a Halloween costume party wedding! I’m crossing my fingers…..

What’s the process like of writing a ceremony?

It’s very personal, and each ceremony starts from scratch. Couples fill out a detailed questionnaire and I use their responses to craft the ceremony. I’ll incorporate their story – how they met, what they love about each other, all the details they want to share. Maybe lyrics from a song. The possibilities are endless. The couple controls what goes into the ceremony – I send them a draft and we keep going back and forth until they are completely happy with it.

If you haven’t done a gay wedding, what would your dream gay wedding include/be/ideas?

I haven’t done a gay wedding yet, but I would like to. My dream gay wedding would be just that – a wedding. Illinois hasn’t legalized gay marriage (yet!), but my fellow Celebrants and I have been busy working on our state representatives to get them to support a Civil Union bill that should be coming up for a vote this month in the IL General Assembly. I’m crossing my fingers.

Do you have a favorite “moment” that happens while you’re doing your job?

When couples send me their completed questionnaires, it’s like I have all these puzzle pieces that need to be put together. I like to research things for the ceremony and see what details I can incorporate to make the ceremony truly unique and personal. For example, last month I spent hours reading every lyric to every song by Bjork because she’s the favorite singer of a bride I was working with. (It turned out that there are no Bjork lyrics that would be appropriate for a wedding ceremony!) The point is, I spend a lot of time thinking about the ceremony and piecing together all the little bits, trying to make it perfect. Then, when I finally get it all together, I email it to the couple for their approval. I then sit there waiting anxiously to hear what they think. When I get an email back ,saying they love it – THAT’S the moment that makes me say, “YES!” That is my favorite moment and makes me love my job!

Rave time!

“I chose AnitaWeds because of Anita’s warmth and humor. She put my husband and me at ease, and made the whole process simple and relaxed. We loved her flexiblity and her ideas. We never felt pressured or that we were just another couple. Everyone at our renewal ceremony commented on how beautiful and personalized the ceremony was. I would highly recommend her!”

“Anita performed our service just as we asked. She took the time to talk with us about what we wanted in our service. She always returned our calls promptly, when we had questions that needed answered she made our wedding day a very special day.”

“Anita is very personable and professional. She has a wonderful way with words and made our ceremony that much more special!”