Comments on: Ceremony Gender Flips

By: elia

elia — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 05:02:02 +0000

Well I think it’s nice to do what you really feel suits you, but to change tradition just because you think traditions are not pc is problematic. I mean judging by the praise you’re getting here for not conforming to gender stereotypes, it raises the question of do couples avoid gendered tradiltions because they truly don’t like them, are is it because they fear the political fall-out of being “traditional”? I feel sad that persons who are clearly more feminine or more masculine, are afraid to acknowledge it for fear of criticism. If a man should be free to be feminine and not feel he has to prove he has traditional masculine traits, then shouldn’t a woman be equally free to be feminine and not feel she has to prove that she’s more androgynous just because that is more politically correct. Or the same for a masculine woman.

There’s a question of protesting too much. That is, when you feel you have to state that you’re not really as feminine or masculine as you appear, it makes it appear that you’re conforming to political pressure to claim to be androgynous because it’s more politically acceptable. Sad, really.

By: {lauryl}

{lauryl} — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:00:12 +0000

Great ideas for switching things up! I love it when couples add to the traditions and mix them up a bit- makes a wedding so unexpected instead of “same-old.”

By: Erica

Erica — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 22:09:20 +0000

Lara! Thanks for the wedding history–good to know, and now I wish I had a sword (kind of). Also, why are the sides flipped in Jewish weddings?

Yay for figuring out how it works for each of us…

By: Ms. Sparrow

Ms. Sparrow — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 13:48:41 +0000

I love the fact that we get to choose what to what to do. Like I know there will defintly not be a garter toss.

By: Monica

Monica — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:17:22 +0000

Awesome post. I especially what you said about how both of you have masculine and feminine qualities. I’m pretty sure that all of our guests will see me as the “groom” since I’ll be the one not wearing a dress. I like the ways you’re sort of turning the traditional roles on their ear…very cool. The thing I love about this site is reading these posts and realizing, “Hey, I never thought about that. How are we going to deal with this same problem?”

By: Wasabi

Wasabi — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:52:51 +0000

Nice post, I love to see how queer couples navigate these traditions. Switching the bouquet and bout up…cool idea!

By: Lara

Lara — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:16:00 +0000

Oh yes there is a gender-oppressive reason behind it! :D In the “olden days”, the groom would have stolen his bride from her family. He’d then stand on the right of the ceremony setup in order to keep his sword-hand (right hand) free to be able to defend himself from said family. And the best man? Yeah, he’s there to help fight back against the family so the groom can capture the bride.

One note: in Jewish ceremonies, the sides are flipped!