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Last Saturday I planned a tux shopping event with my Best Man, Jon, to occur around the same time that Liz went shopping for her dress with her Matron of Honor, mom and cousin.  I knew that the tux shop would likely be confused and would assume Jon was the one getting married, and they might even go so far as to assume he was marrying me, so as an incentive I promised Jon a beer at the local pub afterward.  What I hadn’t realized was that this process would be much more painful to me.

The Men’s Wearhouse near me hadn’t batted an eye when I was fitted for the tux I wore when I was Best Mate in another friend’s wedding, but they, unfortunately, don’t have tails in ivory.  So Jon and I, instead, headed to Selix Formalwear.  They carry ivory tails and for some reason I had really fallen in love with the idea of tails.  After some initial confusion on the part of the salesman, he had me set up with a shirt, vest, tie and jacket.  Now, my idea is to have a sage green vest and a  cornflower blue tie, but this will give you a general idea:

I liked it, I did.  Although I would have liked to have seen it with the pants.  I’m not sure why they weren’t offered.

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Dear readers, please forgive me.  You see I’ve only had a few serious relationships in my life.  I chose to spend a good chunk of my life living alone and not dating so I could figure out who I was and what I really wanted.  This is why I am so inept at this relationship business at times.

Take, for instance, the other day when our friend Angie asked Liz and I if she could come over on the Sunday after next to catch up on Project Runway and I immediately said “sure!”  Angie did the math and said “oh, but that’s Valentine’s Day.  I’m sure you two want to have the evening to yourselves,” to which I replied — oh, it’s almost too embarrassing to admit, dear readers!  I replied… (gulp)….

“Nah, it’s just another day, come on over.”

*sigh*

It’s not that I’m not a romantic.  I am.  And it’s not like I haven’t spent dozens of Valentine’s Days alone wishing I had someone to wine and dine or even to just cuddle with on the couch while watching a lesbian romantic comedy.  But Liz and I just feel so solid that, well, every day feels like a celebration of our love to me.  I may be dumb, but I’m not blind; the look on Liz’s face shortly after Angie left quickly told me that she was a bit disappointed by my dismissal of the holiday.  I reassured her that we would celebrate it, just maybe not on Sunday the 14th.

Shortly thereafter I stumbled across A Valentine Supper Club via Facebook — a local event in San Jose featuring a prix-fixe dinner, entertainment including the fabulous Molly Bell and swing band Joie de Vivre and dancing in The Corinthian Club’s grand ballroom.  The website says the evening is “a throwback to the classic Hollywood of the ’40s & ’50s, set in a nostalgic dinner & dance club.”   It just so happens that Liz and I plan to start Swing dancing lessons soon so we can perform our first dance at the wedding without me embarrassing myself.   So we get a nice meal, entertainment and a chance to see some talented swing dancers up close and even try our hand at it.  Perfect!

To seal the deal, my best man and his wife will be there for the dance portion of the evening and they might show us a step or two.  And best of all?  It’s on the Friday before Valentine’s Day.  We can still have the friend over for a nice quiet supper and a surfeit of Project Runway episodes saved on our Tivo.

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One Delicious Wedding

Posted on January 28th, 2010 by Raven. 3 Comments

Raven

Liz and I told ourselves to take things slowly.  We’d wanted to set up a General Tasting with Melons Catering and sample some more generic fare before ponying up $150 each (applied toward your bill if you book them) for an Individual Tasting.  We were booked in for the evening of January 20th along with a few other couples.  But then Melons had a production meeting, and the chef realized that to feed us at the General Tasting he’d have to make essentially three different menus — one vegetarian for me, one to accommodate the things that Liz hates to eat, and one for everybody else.  So Shannon at Melons dropped me a line and told me the great news: they were going to give us an Individual Tasting and waive the normal fee.

This is just one example of how nice and thoughtful the folks at Melons are.  One small part of their package to us of brochures, proposals, and personalized menu included the words “bride and groom” (as in “the bride and groom can select…”).  I pointed this out to Shannon and within half an hour she sent me an apology and told me she would fix it  (I wasn’t upset, for the record, just pointing it out in case they book future same sex weddings).

72 Hour Short Rib - Melons Catering

photo courtesy Melons Catering.

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The Bride Wore Pants

Posted on January 6th, 2010 by Raven. 6 Comments

Raven

I was a bit of a tomboy growing up.  I liked climbing trees and galloping through my backyard riding my imaginary horse, Lightning.  I didn’t ask for dolls for Christmas, I asked for train sets and slot-track racing cars.  I never liked wearing skirts and dresses because they showed the scabs on my knees; they weren’t very practical for scaling fences and they collected brambles when I went walking through the open fields close to our house.

When I got older, I wore dresses when I had to — school dances and family weddings, mostly.  But I’ve never felt comfortable in a dress.  I feel like it’s a sport of never been able to master.  I am just as awkward as I was when I first learned to ski except there’s no bunny slope and no way to snow plow my way through it.  I’ve almost never liked the way I looked in a dress, save my rather fabulous senior prom ensemble (forgive the hair… it was the 80′s.):

So why did I find myself suddenly, almost deperately, wishing I could wear a chic white gown on my wedding day?  In part, I blame So You’re EnGAYged.  Prior to stumbling across this website and the website that bore it, Two Brides, I hadn’t seen many pictures of two brides both in dresses.  But every time I do… well, I know it sounds cheesy, but my heart skips a beat.  Maybe there’s something about the undeniable homosexuality of that image.  There’s no chance of mistaking one of the brides for a man, even momentarily.

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