So You're EnGAYged, a LGBT wedding blog

Hello friends!

It’s been a bit of a one-woman show around here, and that number may be dropping to 0 after today’s post, at least until after the wedding. The sad news is that after our wedding, I think things are going to be super duper quiet around here at SYE. Now that we’re inside of 10 days until the wedding, things are getting pretty busy and I think for my own sanity (and sleep schedule) I need to reel it in a bit here at SYE until after the wedding. I think that any free time I have this week and next will be spent stringing bunting and writing names on escort cards, corralling out of town guests, or else neurotically rearranging our table assignments. The good news is that Michael should be back soon giving us a short series of wrap-up posts about his wedding last weekend! And more good news is that in a few weeks, I will be able to give you all the dirty details about our wedding next weekend plus our mini-moon trip after the wedding! I’ve been working on some DIY projects (the aforementioned bunting and escort cards) and would love to share them with you. Plus, we’ve been having those sort of fun but scary conversations about what it means to be married, how our relationship is doing now vs. when we met vs. what we hope it will be like in the first year of our marriage, and I’m curious about how other people *really* feel in the days before and after their wedding. And, once we get some fancy photos back I’d love to share them here in a modified “real wedding” since we’re not doing those so much anymore! In the mean time, if there are things you’d like to hear about my experience (or Michael’s) in the weeks after my wedding, let me know in the comments. Here’s to hoping we get through the next 10 days without too much chaos!!

Our wedding is just over two weeks away (eeee!) and now that we’re getting down to the decor and details, I’ve been wondering about how we will honor marriage equality at our wedding. We plan to include a reading of Chief Justice Margaret Marshall’s ruling on marriage equality in Massachusetts:

“Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support. Marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition. It is undoubtedly for these reasons, as well as for its intimately personal significance, that civil marriage has long been termed a ‘civil right’. Without the right to marry, one is excluded from the full range of human experience.”

We also made a wedding registry with the Human Rights Campaign, to encourage guests to contribute to the ongoing support of LGBT rights in lieu of gifts; we’ll also be making our own gift to HRC instead of favors. And, we’ve been mindful to work with vendors who are LGBT-friendly and who have made extra efforts to use gender-neutral language in their documentation (though this is often a work in progress).

But I’ve been wondering if this is not enough – or too much??? How do others handle this, gay or straight? What else is out there? I’ve heard of the “White Knot” where couples hand out small white knots for guests to wear to support marriage equality and full equal rights. Other couples opt for a more rainbow-tastic color scheme to their weddings, while still others do nothing obvious at all other than the radical act of getting married.

So I’ve been wondering – what are you doing to honor marriage equality throughout your wedding process? Do you have any awesome ideas to share with us? How have your gestures towards equality been received by guests, family or friends? Do you think there is a place to get political during a wedding? Why or why not?  Let us hear it in the comments!!!