So with that, let me get my bullhorn out! We are looking for new volunteers and ideas. We would love to hear from you! Think you would make an awesome coordinator for our real weddings features? Pipe up. Know you kick butt in grammar and would like to be our content editor? Email us right away, ha!

So shoot your emails to: kelly@soyoureengayged.com

This is obviously a huge decision, and one that didn’t come lightly. We know how much you all really love this site as it is, especially the real weddings section. Both of us (Kelly and Lara) are currently dealing with health issues, as well as work/life balance (we have full-time jobs in addition to running So You’re EnGAYged). Real weddings and vendor listings eat up the bulk of our time outside of our full-time jobs, and it’s time for us to end our work on them. This means that there will be no new real weddings or vendors added to the site, but the existing ones will remain.

A ton of thought has gone into this, and though it’s a sad decision for both of us, we’re so happy with how the site has evolved over the years and the joy it has brought to us during that time. We’re not sure what’s next for SYE, but we’ll definitely be posting about it after taking some time off! Our awesome bloggers have been given the opportunity to keep blogging if they choose.

Lara: It’s been phenomenal running this site. I’ve learned so much about this community and how vendors can be truly LGBT-friendly. I’ve learned so much about the technology behind it, and what it takes to run a successful business. The people we’ve met, the loving comments we read, and the chance to work with your best friend day after day are some of the most treasured things about SYE. We keep joking – this wouldn’t be such a hard decision if So You’re EnGAYged weren’t so awesome. :)

Kelly: I can remember coming up with the idea for So You’re EnGAYged and wondering what/where/how to go about such a large project. Working with Lara, who is my best friend, to continually set new standards for the wedding industry and push for more awareness has been my driving force. I love that I’ve goten to work with so many couples as they submitted their real wedding/engagements, and in our next chapter, I hope to focus even more on serving amazing LGBT couples as they navigate the sometimes-murky waters of planning an LGBT wedding. This was an extremely hard decision to make, but I know in the end, whatever path So You’re EnGAYged takes will be one that allows me to continue to serve my LGBT and offbeat clients with my wedding photography business and gives me snuggle time with the wife.

Thanks to all you readers for being so terrific. It’s been a true pleasure creating this site for you.

Photography: Pro-Gay Vendor Holly Steen of Cakes and Kisses Wedding Photography

Photography: Pro-Gay Vendor Holly Steen of Cakes and Kisses Wedding Photography;  See our Pro-Gay vendor list here
Dog Handling by Holly Steen, Jen Sherman and Megan Reese
Hair and Makeup by Meghan Reese

Photographer: Sweet Tea Photography

Photographer: Pro-gay vendor Timothy Faust Photography

Grace unknowingly made it very difficult to propose! But I to be fair, I suppose I was the “difficult” one first. I had voiced fears about marriage. I felt disapproving family would place too much pressure on any long term relationship – that there was no room for mistakes, no room for failure ever. All the while, I was working with a local artist to have a custom ring make for Grace. I just wanted us to be on the same page as far as fears and expectations. What I didn’t know is that, as these conversations were occurring, Grace had been thinking about buying me a ring and proposing on an upcoming trip. Instead of an engagement ring, I got a promise ring, a reminder of what we were moving towards someday – on the most idyllic beach… at sunset… in Thailand!! If only I had a better brain-to-mouth filter! I realized I would have to be one to propose first, but that didn’t mean it was going to be easy. I kept planning elaborate proposal schemes. Cross country skiing in Minnesota was nixed because of an injury, hiking in Boulder was vetoed for other events, and a valentines day proposal was aborted after realizing the play we had tickets to see was about marriage infidelity! I finally proposed at a local coffee shop. I convinced Grace that I had work to do on a Saturday, and begged her to come along. I’d written a “Wife Resume” – a fake resume of what I thought I could bring to her future and the reasons I wanted to be her wife. She had been proof-reading resumes for the past month, so it wouldn’t seem out of place to ask her to read one more. BUT she was expecting to get work done and set aside my “resume” for later. I was sweating though my shirt, heart racing, staring a blank computer screen with the realization that I had absolutely nothing to do for the next few hours but freak out. With some gentle, and then not so gentle nudging (at one point her exact words were “You can’t tell me what to do”) I finally got her to open the resume. Obviously, she said yes!

Photographer: Pro-gay vendor Timothy Faust Photography; See our Pro-Gay vendor list here

We got married at Willowdale Estate in Topsfield, MA on a chilly, cloudy, beautiful day surrounded by our families and closest friends. We each had a bridal party of four of our favorite people and created a rainbow theme with their shoes and flowers. The hour or so before the wedding that we got to spend getting ready with our parents, siblings and best friends was a really great way to begin the day and get excited for all of the other things that were to come.

We asked Alyssa’s aunt to perform the ceremony and made a last minute decision to hold it inside so that our guests did not freeze. The ceremony was unique to us and included every person in attendance. After the ceremony, it was all about dessert and dancing. We had cake, an ice cream sundae bar and gigantic, and warm chocolate chip cookies. Guests flowed between the dance floor and the photo booth, which allowed us to capture some awesome memories instantly. The photo booth pictures were pasted in a scrapbook and our guests wrote extra nice notes for us next to their hilarious poses. We really enjoyed looking through the book the next morning.

In the end, despite some seriously stressful moments during the planning phases, our wedding day was exactly what we wanted it to be: unique, colorful, and all about our love!

We asked Alyssa’s aunt to perform the ceremony because we wanted someone who knew us both well to be the one to marry us. We chose poems by Maya Angelou, Pablo Neruda, and e.e. cummings for family members and friends to read and even asked a friend to write one for us herself. During the readings, our wedding bands were passed around to every person in the audience to hold for a moment and put their most positive thoughts and wishes into them. It was a great way to include everyone in our celebration.

Katie: The brief moments that we had alone between the ceremony and the reception. It gave us some time to talk and share our excitement about finally being married!

Alyssa: When the ceremony, pictures, formal dances and speeches were over, the pressure was off and we finally got to dance and celebrate with our friends and family as a couple of married ladies!

1) Take A LOT of deep breaths.

2 ) Always remember that in the end, this day should be all about YOU and celebrating your love with friends and family. The place cards, invitations, and meal options will not matter in 20 years, but how you felt that day will stay with you.

3) Don’t ask for advice unless you are ready to hear EVERYONE’S opinion.

We often felt like we were planning the straightest gay wedding EVER! To gay it up a bit, we incorporated a rainbow theme with our flowers and shoes. Alyssa’s side even rocked some colorful tye-dye under their dresses!

Photographer: Aubrey Greene

Venue: Willowdale Estate, Topsfield, MA

Florist: Kiwi Cabbage

Caterer: Willowdale Estate

Dress/Suit/Accessories: Both dresses from David’s Bridal.

I came home from participating in the MS Walk in Carlsbad and I was getting ready for a date later that same evening. I went to meet my date and waited at a bar in Hillcrest, the “gay-borhood” of San Diego, and the person never showed up. So after a few drinks I went home and decided to do some shopping therapy online. I got onto Craigslist San Diego looking to purchase a snowboard for myself. As my search for a snowboard that I liked came up empty handed, I went to check out the Personals section- Women seeking Women. There were a few ads that gave me a laugh and actually made me feel better. Then I came across this one that mentioned it kept getting flagged, so of course, I had to check it out. I opened it up and it was a long essay laying EVERYTHING out as far as expectations and putting out things about herself that may deter others.

Like these are “all my flaws, love ‘em or leave ‘em!” She was very descriptive, blunt, and to the point – there was no room for questions. Having read the whole post, and I did read the WHOLE post, I scrolled to the very end and found two pictures of her. At that moment, I was taken aback by everything I had read and her smile was the icing on the cake, I just had to reply. So I responded to her ad! I later found out that Tami had a bad night and run in with an ex-girlfriend that prompted her to post an angry ad in craigslist of all places. It worked! We are proof that true love can be found in the most unexpected places. Our first date was a day at Disneyland and we have been inseparable since!

Tami was planning her birthday brunch at Tower 23 in Pacific Beach. Knowing her closest friends and family would be there, I felt that this would be a great opportunity to surprise her and propose to her during her brunch. I actually had planned to propose months before on a trip to Disneyland, but I couldn’t get the ring on time, and Tami actually caught me off guard by proposing to me that day! So I knew that I had to really make it special and unexpected.

During the brunch, we began to open presents. I handed her my present, which she had already figured out was the purse she’d been wanting since before we met. She took out the purse from the box and looked inside. Inside the purse contained a DVD with a note that said “play me.” Tami turned to me with a look like “how am I supposed to play this?” and I already had a portable DVD player ready. The DVD was a picture montage of us from our first date to the present set to music I had selected that I felt best depicted how I felt for her. At the end of the slideshow, the screen said, “Will you marry me?”. As she turned to me crying, I was on one knee with the ring waiting for her answer. We both laugh looking back to that moment because she didn’t say yes. She was crying so much that we think she said “of course!” but no one has a video of this so every now and then we ask each other again to relive it.

Courtney had to spend 4 months in Massachusetts because of her job and before she left, she gave Kelly her high school ring to wear on her neck while she was away. Kelly continued to wear it even after Courtney returned. Because of a promise made to Kelly’s mother, when it came time for them to move to NY, Courtney knew it was time to make that big commitment. While Kelly was in the shower one morning, Courtney replaced her high school ring with the engagement ring. Kelly came out of the shower and began to get dressed. She didn’t get very far before she noticed the ring. Courtney took it and got down on one knee and said, “Baby, will you be my wife?” Kelly said “Yes…. but I need to get dressed first.” If that’s not love, what is? : )

We met on OkCupid.com just after Courtney moved from NY to Seattle (where Kelly is from). Courtney was in NY on a mini vacation the first time she message Kelly. They exchanged e-mails for about 3 weeks before Courtney returned to Seattle to take the first walk around Greenlake with what would someday be, her wife.

NYC: Lisa and Kristin or their engagement shoot

Dumbo: Navin and Navin

NYC: Brian and Tom

NYC: Nicole and Sue

NYC: Sar and Nicole

NYC: Seanmichael and Damien

NYC: Bekah and Mandy

And follow Mandy, on of our bloggers, as she plans her NYC rooftop wedding

NYC: Dawn and Jennifer and part II

NYC: L and R

NYC: Steve and Patrick

NYC: Basha and Maura