Author Archive

5 Takes: Gender Dynamics in Queer weddings

Posted on March 1st, 2011 by Erica C. 4 Comments

Erica C
Wedding Date: 9/10/11
Bio: I'm a New Englander by birth that recently uprooted to the west coast. I am pursuing my PhD in Mass Communication & Society at the University of Oregon. My partner Christina and I met in Ogunquit, Maine over 3 yeas ago. We purchased our first home this summer and share it with our 2 cats Ollie and Phoebe and our dog Charley. I'm a 1st generation American, an only child, a home brewer, a chronic student, a mover & a shaker, a DIYer, and most recently a butch bridezilla.

As I have mentioned in earlier posts, I am the Butch Bridezilla. Recently, my horns haven’t been as sharp, the flames coming out of my mouth haven’t been as hot, but don’t let that fool you. The beast is dormant, just waiting for an opportunity to wake back up.

Within the framework of a traditional heterosexual wedding, the bride plans everything, DIYs everything with her unlucky bridesmaids and stresses out about the entire wedding. Meanwhile the groom plays X-box/Wii/Playstation/etc., occasionally getting up to grab another cold beer and offer his two cents. I occassionally watch wedding reality tv shows which make me want to reach through the television and strangle the groom-to-be. Not that the bride makes it easy to help. But still. Come on guys.

Because of our life/work schedules, I have been the one to do much of the work. FACT: realistically, I have done about 90% of the planning. Planning this wedding has gotten me incredibly organized. (Before meeting Christina, I was a Type-A’s worst nightmare: books all over the floor, papers covering my desk, laundry on the floor.) But Christina’s organizational skills have really rubbed off on me, in a very good way. Now I’m a manic organizer with bouts of disorganization that mirror chaotic moments in my life.

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The Point of No Return

Posted on February 22nd, 2011 by Erica C. 7 Comments

Erica C
Wedding Date: 9/10/11
Bio: I'm a New Englander by birth that recently uprooted to the west coast. I am pursuing my PhD in Mass Communication & Society at the University of Oregon. My partner Christina and I met in Ogunquit, Maine over 3 yeas ago. We purchased our first home this summer and share it with our 2 cats Ollie and Phoebe and our dog Charley. I'm a 1st generation American, an only child, a home brewer, a chronic student, a mover & a shaker, a DIYer, and most recently a butch bridezilla.

Recently I had a freak out moment about getting married. One of those “whoa, whoa, whoa, we can’t be doing this” moments. Here are just a few of the monologues that have been running through my head:

“I’m too young to be married.” “This is way too expensive.” “No one will come.” “How are we going to pay for all of this?” “Lesbian bed death? God, not us?!” “Our 5 year plan includes babies?” “Lindsay Lohan is single again?”

I absolutely love Christina. I absolutely love us. I love the person she makes me. I love the life we have together. So why the anxiety?

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Planning Ahead: Giving Yourself Time to Make Mistakes

Posted on February 15th, 2011 by Erica C. 4 Comments

Erica C
Wedding Date: 9/10/11
Bio: I'm a New Englander by birth that recently uprooted to the west coast. I am pursuing my PhD in Mass Communication & Society at the University of Oregon. My partner Christina and I met in Ogunquit, Maine over 3 yeas ago. We purchased our first home this summer and share it with our 2 cats Ollie and Phoebe and our dog Charley. I'm a 1st generation American, an only child, a home brewer, a chronic student, a mover & a shaker, a DIYer, and most recently a butch bridezilla.

Everything we thought we wanted in a wedding, we ended up hating.

Our initial plan was to throw a lobster bake bash on an island off the coast of Southern Maine. In theory, it was a fantastic idea. In actuality, the whole thing was a messy flop.

The initial caterer and venues we found were less than stellar. I’m a compulsive individual, I admit it. If something looks good and is a good price, I’ll do it. Even if it will cost me more in the end. And I know this. So with our Maine coast gala in mind we booked a VFW Hall on Long Island, Maine. We put down the $500 deposit hoping for the best. Quite to our dismay, the place ended up being a spider-web laden shack full of grungy tables and chairs with years of grime caked on them. The place had clearly been neglected.

We found a caterer/cook/ BBQ guy on Craigslist in New Hampshire who told us he could do a lobster bake for $25 a person- sweet deal. Sounds too good to be true- oh, and it was. But alas, we put a $1,000 deposit on a caterer- Paul’s Sausage Shack. He suggested we have him do the wedding planning so we wouldn’t be bogged down by the details. So we paid him another deposit for those services. He then proceeded to inform us it was going to cost us an additional $3,000 in transportation fees to get his equipment and team to the island- $3,000 in boat fees- what?! And the icing on the cake- his sample of baby back ribs gave my parents food poisoning. Needless to say, we terminated our relationships with both the venue and the caterer. Luckily we were able to get our deposit on the venue back, but Paul and his sausages kept our $1,000 and wished us well.

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Engagement Photo Session

Posted on February 8th, 2011 by Erica C. 5 Comments

Erica C
Wedding Date: 9/10/11
Bio: I'm a New Englander by birth that recently uprooted to the west coast. I am pursuing my PhD in Mass Communication & Society at the University of Oregon. My partner Christina and I met in Ogunquit, Maine over 3 yeas ago. We purchased our first home this summer and share it with our 2 cats Ollie and Phoebe and our dog Charley. I'm a 1st generation American, an only child, a home brewer, a chronic student, a mover & a shaker, a DIYer, and most recently a butch bridezilla.

A few months before I proposed to Christina, I started scanning the Internet for various wedding contests. I’ve had pretty good luck in the past with radio contests, drawings, Bingo games, scratch tickets. So I guess you could say I’m a pretty lucky gal. In February 2009, I submitted our “why we deserve to win” story to the Beantown Bride. I followed the blog like a hawk, reading their every update and Twitter post, hoping to win their intimate wedding for 25 in Boston. Alas we did not win the first prize wedding. But, we did win second place- an engagement photo shoot with Maureen Ford. (Because of our budget, we would have never been able to afford this engagement photo shoot- so thank you so much to everyone that made it possible.)

We had our engagement photo session on July 16, 2010 in the heart of Boston- Quincy Market/Faneuil Hall. It was silly. It was fun. It was cute. It was hot and sweaty. It was awkward. But, it was FREE!!!

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