One of the main questions I have received after getting married in the courthouse is “So what do you call each other?” which always takes me aback a little. For me, it seems completely natural that as soon as we were married, we would start using the same terms everybody else did. And if people are accepting and understanding of the fact that we are married, then why wouldn’t they think to do the same thing?
But I guess most people ask out of curiosity and to make sure they use the “politically correct” terminology. I know they mean no harm in asking so I try to oblige with an informative answer that can give them some insight into same-sex marriages. I explain that personally, we call each other “wife,” which is typical with married lesbian couples, but sometimes we make our own rules. I tell them that if they are unsure of what term to use that “partner” is always a safe bet.
Right after Rose and I signed our marriage certificate, we started tossing around the word “wife” as much as humanly possible. It felt so good to call each other that, especially because we were actually able to take some legal steps to turn it into reality. I think some folks who aren’t familiar, get a little stumped by the idea that both members of a union would be called wife or husband.
This has gotten me thinking about all the terms that are commonly used when referring to our significant others… or even those silly pet names that only make sense between the two of you. In fact, I know of a certain lesbian couple that call each other “Sucka MC” for reasons unknown to anyone else.
Here are just a few of the terms Rose and I use regularly or have made up entirely:
wife: Definitely our favorite, especially when introducing each other. It has such a great ring to it and we just can’t seem to get enough of saying it.We both use it when talking about each other at our workplaces, and also make sure to say it to each other AT LEAST once a day.
partner: This one is a little too formal for my liking because it reminds me of a business transaction. However, we do use it when making important phone calls, banking, and other boring but necessary tasks. It seems like it is the most easily understandable when trying to explain our relationship to the average person in one quick word.
honey: I use this one regularly, but mostly just between the two of us. Sometimes it’ll be shortened to “hon” because I grew up near Baltimore, and that’s just what we do.
boo: We like to use this word when around friends and such, just to be playful.
darling: A little old school a’ la Lady and the Tramp.
babe: I swear this is not as degrading as it might seem (remember AC Slater from Saved By The Bell? Yeah… it’s not like him). We both somehow started calling each other babe and now it’s almost more common than our first names.
love of my life: Rose coined this one and it definitely always makes me smile when she says it to me!
lwife: We invented this word to mean a hybrid of “life” and “wife” as in “That romantic dinner last night was perfect, I love my lwife!”
panda: Yes you read that right… one day I started a joke with Rose that she reminded me of a panda and it suddenly spread like wildfire. Even our friends and family seem to have adopted it for her… it just fits!
So what do you call your significant other/mate/spouse/better half???
We’re still engaged, but I don’t like the term “fiance” even though technically that’s what she is. So I just keep calling her my girlfriend. But every once in a while, I’ll throw in “wifey” though we aren’t married yet :D I like the way it sounds! I will refer to her as my wife though after we are married.
When we are being silly, we call each other “Beebee” kind of like “Baby” but putting our own spin on it.
I’m also a big fan of babe and love of my life. Can not wait to start calling Ginger my wife!!!
I love wife, boo, honey, etc I also feel the word Partner has something to do with a business transaction and it kind of turns me off. Husband and Wife are perfectly acceptable terms in LGBT relationships in my opinion. I am “wifey” in our house!
I’m not sure what we are going to call each other when we get married but right now for work, doctors, banks, etc…we say partner. It just seems to work though it is formal and took me about 4 years to get used too! Rose I’m with you on the babe. We call each other that ALL THE TIME! Sometimes I don’t think Mer uses my first name all day! :)
We are not married yet but have been living together for a while and will refer to each other as “wifey”…mostly other’s will say like “where’s the wifey?” I also use love of my life when calling Cheryll or saying something to her but I say it Spanish such as “amor de mi vida” lol I’ll also call her amore…and honey/hon too (i’m from Philly, we do that there too). She will call me babe when she’s trying to get my attention, which is usually when i’m super distracted and she’s called me several other things first lol
We both cannot wait until we can truly call eachother “wife”!
Check out this recent post on apracticalwedding — http://apracticalwedding.com/2011/01/lgbtq-use-of-wife/ I’d love this community’s take on it.
We aren’t officially engaged but she is my Hersband/Hursband(Hurbby) and I am her wife(wifey) we often joke about our His & Her wedding gifts except ours will say Hurs & Hers!:)
I love all these different names! Hurs & Hers cracks me up!
:D :D :D