Thanks to Jessie Blum from Eclectic Unions for writing this blog post about including marriage equality in her own wedding!
“Marriage is a promise that you make to that other person, a promise to stay in love with them forever, to be related forever, and that you’ll always be together.” – Dan Savage
Honoring marriage equality was really important to me while my husband, Dan, and I were working with our celebrant to put together our wedding ceremony.
We began by tying White Knots on our personal flowers – mine on my bouquet, and his on his boutonniere. The White Knot is a symbol of support for marriage equality – a statement that everyone should be able to legally “tie the knot.”
In our ceremony, we asked our celebrant to preface the ring vows with this selection from Goodridge vs. Department of Public Health, written by Massachusetts Supreme Court Justice Margaret H. Marshall. This was the ruling that allowed same sex marriages in Massachusetts. We also printed a more extended version of this ruling in our programs, too.
Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being, and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.
We decided we wanted to break a glass at the end of our ceremony, a Jewish wedding tradition, but neither of us are religious, and we knew we wanted to interpret it in a secular way. Our celebrant suggested we see it as “smashing marriage inequality,” and I thought it was a great interpretation. We each had our own glass to break at the end, too.
Jessie & Dan would also like to recognize those who are still denied the civil right of wedded union and forbidden the social and legal benefits of marriage. We have come a long way toward treating all men and women as equals, and yet, we acknowledge that we have farther still to go and more we can do to respect the choice to love, and be loved.
As Jessie & Dan both break a glass, it symbolizes their great love and good luck; it also illustrates the elimination and eradication of inequality so all may marry their chosen life partners!
As a wedding celebrant myself, the ceremony was really the most important part of the whole wedding celebration for me. I really wanted our family and friends understand how happy we were that we got to stand up in front of them and declare our love and commitment for each other, and be legally married at the end of it – but, sadly, we were married in the state of New York, where same sex marriage is not legally allowed (though NY does recognize and acknowledge same sex marriages performed in other states! Little steps…). Because of this, it was so important for us to include these pieces in our ceremony – though we were delighted to be getting married, it still really made us sad that not everyone had the same rights as we did.
This is awesome! Thank you for remembering all those of us out there who love beyond these restrictions!
Beautiful touches to remember the fight for marriage equality! A friend of mine also incorporated the bouquet toss to include men & women who wanted to get married, saying that anyone who wants to get married should be able so all should be able to catch her bouquet!
Congratulations to you and Dan!
[...] to see more of our wedding? Check out this blog post I wrote for So You’re EnGAYged about honoring marriage equality in your wedding ceremony! [...]
This is great! I’ve been looking for a way to incorporate marriage equality into my upcoming wedding.
[...] I wrote a blog post about how Dan and I honored and included the fight for marriage equality in our wedding ceremony for one of my favorite wedding planning blogs, So You’re EnGAYged. Here’s an excerpt – head over the the blog to check out the full post! [...]