So we have decided. We are going to forge ahead and have an all vegetarian wedding. Which is a load off of mine, I have to be honest that I struggled with it because outside Lash, my dad, my dad’s second wife, and myself there are no other vegetarians (that I know of) that will be coming to our wedding. Most of the people that we know are avid meat lovers so I really didn’t want to put people at odds over our reception. I get like that at times, I get wrapped up in making sure everyone else has a wonderful time that I forget the reasoning behind why everyone will be gathered there in the first place. Which is, to celebrate the love that Lash and I both share.
I figure that I have gone to plenty of places and a couple of weddings where I couldn’t really eat anything and I put my feelings aside because the event was not about me. After all, vegetarian doesn’t mean a reception that serves nothing but salad! Hell, I love myself salad (which is not a requirement, I know plenty of vegetarians that hate vegetables – it is quite funny) but I would go crazy if I was surrounded by a sea of leafy greens! So, I have resubmitted proposals to the caterers that we are looking at in Maryland changing our food options to all vegetarian to see what they come up.
I can’t wait to see the options, even though I wish we were allowed to bring in our own caterer because there is a place that we love (well, we love the Atlanta locale – we have to try the DC one) called Soul Vegetarian, which is an all vegan American, soul food restaurant. They are small with a few locations along the Southeast, they have one in both Atlanta and Charleston. The prices are reasonable, the food is delicious (well, I’ve only had the barbecued kale bone as a entree because it is so damn good) and they cater!
Let me move on before this blog becomes an advertisement for this place. Now, in my inner circle I have three people that are close to me that turn their nose up to anything vegetarian. Two of those people if I’m cooking, I always make exceptions for them and cook something with meat in it just for them to eat – so I’m assuming they would be expecting the same type of treatment for the wedding. Unfortunately, unless we get a really good deal – a lot of the meat options are just really pricey and being that we can’t exactly sample the food, I really just have an issue with shelling out money for food that I won’t be able to eat. Besides with vegetarian food, I feel that there are meat substitutes that would help people satisfy their need for something resembling meat, I just hope we can find a caterer that has that type of stuff on their menu.
Another concern of mine is preparation, I haven’t had meat for 10 years at this point and if I eat anything that has been cooked around meat, my stomach will get upset. I really want to avoid anything like that on my wedding day. The running in and out of the stall with a pouf dress does not sound like a good time at all, I’m already going to feel awkward wearing something so fancy – I don’t need to add anything else to that (lol)!
So, we are officially having a vegetarian wedding. We haven’t spilled it within our ranks (as of yet) but I’m sure we will be hearing plenty of opinions regarding our choice. So, question for you all, has anyone gone to a reception that catered to one specific type of food or cuisine (i.e. vegetarian, vegan, indian, etc?) Do you have an issue with going to a wedding that only caters to a certain type or do you feel that a wedding should include things that all members of the reception should be able to partake in?
Go for it! I think lots of people will be shocked with how good vegetarian food can be! It is your wedding and you should be doing what makes you most comfortable. We are having a koser-style wedding and there is nothing that would sway this decision. We did check with our officiant because she keeps stictly kosher and her response was “it is your wedding make it what YOU want” (this just adds to why she is marrying us.) People will always find an excuse to complain. I would expect wedding with vegetarian brides to have a veggie wedding, and I think other may also expect the same.
We had a vegetarian wedding and even though some people were iffy about it and said, “but I want you to serve meat”, I would just turn to them and say, “but you’re gonna come anyway, so you’ll suck it up.” It sounds harsh, but we got some nasty comments.
Our caterer was Bon Appetit who did an amazing vegetarian spread for us – I don’t know if they’re on your list, but they do great work.
Yay! We had a vegetarian buffet for our wedding and it was awesome. Lots of compliments on the food from carnivores, and we were able to feel like it was sticking with our values and lifestyle choices on our wedding day. We didn’t tell that many people ahead of time because we didn’t want them to think it was open to their opinions or negotiations, and that strategy worked really well for us.
I’m mostly vegetarian/some sustainably sourced meat. My partner is not and was raised on giant Texas slabs of meat. When we met, the only food he could cook was meat (on the grill) or pasta.
But you know what? He loves vegetarian food now. LOVES it because it’s delicious and not-salad. And he cooks flavorful vegetarian not-salad meals most nights (Indian, moroccan, thai, re-imagined americana, in-season, etc). If Texas meat man can embrace vegetarian food on a regular basis, so can your guests. Just don’t make a big deal out of it. The less said before the wedding, the better. Just tell everyone you found an amazing caterer and you’re really excited. If the food is good, the food is good and they won’t complain. They’ll just eat it.
This is one of those times when you really should say nothing unless asked. It helps with the stupid judgmental wedding questions and harassment.
We’re having vegan cake, vegan cupcakes to be specific. While we have a few friends who are vegan we chose these particular cupcakes because the bakers are a totally RAD queer couple and they are by far the best cupcakes I’ve ever had. My grandfather-in law is a huge carnivore, in fact if we told him the cake was vegan, he probably wouldn’t eat it out of protest. So, we’ve decided we aren’t going to tell anyone. Of course the vegans will know and I suppose if someone was really observant they could figure it out, but we’re betting that they will be so blow away with the deliciousness of the cakes, they won’t care.
I think if you don’t make a big deal about it and serve delicious food, no one will care :)
I helped cook kosher Indian food for a lesbian wedding and absolutely no one had an issue with it. (And why should they have? It was DELICIOUS!)
If you put flavor in your food, people will enjoy it.
It’s not as if the meat eaters won’t have food to eat. They’ll live eating vegetarian for an evening! I agree with the folks above– don’t bring it up ahead of time. People won’t even think to make an issue of it.
this is an issue i get all opinionated and bitchy about: do your thing!
i was once vegetarian, and am now more in the, uh, lazy, veggie-and-local-leaning category. so, the thing about being vegetarian is that it is about *your* preferences, not about asking anyone else to cater to what you eat. it’s about eating what you choose, and not what you don’t, but that isn’t your hosts’ issue, it’s yours.
well, newsflash to everyone: the same thing applies to all of your eating habits! (allergies excepted, though at a large event, you may have to just assume they can’t be accommodated either)
the above statement was not about being a vegetarian, it was about being a guest. i don’t know anyone who *only* eats meat, so it’s not like there aren’t meat-free options they can handle (even my friend who won’t accept a dinner invite without a full menu recital, and never if there isn’t meat).
excuse my soap-box – that superiority shit drives me crazy.
I am vegan, and although have no problem going to places serving meat, I would never cook it, or pay a caterer to bring meat to my house/event. It’s YOUR wedding, so make sure you’re happy first, then worry about everyone else. I am sure meat eaters can spend one afternoon/night without meat. And they might like it so much that they’ll convert :)
My dream is to photograph a veg wedding. I even offered a discount, but no takers as of yet. :)
@jordann – Kosher? That is awesome! Love it! I think it has just been hard because we want for others to enjoy the wedding and sometimes I feel that nothing brings out someones inner snob quicker than food.
@Ellie – I can’t believe they actually said that out loud to you! I would have been livid, I might be wavering but who are you to tell me what I should serve. I would have been harsh to.
@Jessica – I’m thinking we should keep it on the low as well. Just hit them upside the head with it and by the time we get to the reception, they’ll be so hungry that they will have to find something to eat. ;)
@Becca – Both of our families already judge enough, so I agree with you. I just want us to do what we really want for our day. I’m happy to hear about your partner, my dad is finally a vegetarian and I’m trying to work on my brother, he is getting better but we got a long way to go! LOL
@Liz – OMFG, I LOVE VEGAN cupcakes. They have this cute little shop here in Atlanta and their vegan desserts are heavenly! If the cake or cupcakes were awesome, I am all about incorporating stuff like that into the ceremony. Kudos to you two!
@Lady Brett – Amen, sistah! I will gladly step off my lovely soapbox and let you rant away!
So awesome Cynthia! It is your day! There will be plenty for everyone to enjoy.
Just for fun I thought I’d share this with you. I have a great friend, Alicia Simpson, who has turned me onto vegan cooking. She has two cookbooks and her website is: http://veganguineapig.blogspot.com/
I like to cook vegan meals and trip my friends out, especially my carnivore wife to be. Recently we had 4 of our daughters friends over for dinner and I made them Alicia’s vegan mac and cheeze (as she spells it). They flipped when they realized that there was absolutely no cheese in it.
@Tami – You know, I thought I couldn’t like you anymore! I love me some cookbooks and I’m trying to incorporate some vegan ways into my cooking style. So thank you, I will definitely check this out.
@Marie E. Costa – I love that you are a vegan photographer. If you still want to photograph a vegetarian wedding, let us know. We can talk about it!
@Sarah – How did the Indian turn out? For some reason, I want an Indian element to our food. Maybe not the entire reception but it seems that is one of the cuisines that is easier to make vegetarian.
we had a veggie wedding, and made sure the caterer could make a couple of special dishes for one vegan friend who would be there. one of the most common comments we go was “OMG the food was SOOOOO good!”. no one thought twice about “where’s the meat?!”
if anyone in the dallas area is looking, we used Two Sister’s Catering. they’re a little on the pricey side, but they’re WONDERFUL, and do their best to use local and organic ingredients whenever possible.
DC’s SoulVeg is awesome as well. But also check out Everlasting Life Complex in Capitol Heights, MD off Central ave. The food there is amazing and all vegan!