The Celtic Cats performing during the pre-ceremony reception…
Rock n roll portraits wrapped up, Alex and I jumped back in Wyatt’s little red Nissan and headed on over to the Siskiyou Golden Fairgrounds! The ladies had already beat us there and we knew the guests had been arriving for the pre-ceremony reception of sweet breads (pumpkin, zucchini, apple & cinnamon) and local apple cider. Serenading the group were local band, The Celtic Cats, including my brother’s and my high school music teacher (fourth on the right) with Celtic classics and a few Siskiyou County originals.
We arrived with about 15 minutes left of the reception. I was initially a bit bummed we were missing the yummy food and the extra mingling time–but then the actual hellos started and posing for casual family photos and suddenly both Alex and I were REALLY overwhelmed! Oh! Not yet! You can’t congratulate us now!! We haven’t had the ceremony yet! Luckily, our amazing officiant, Janna, took us aside (behind a building) to wait for the ceremony to begin and we were clear of the guests well-intended, but incongruent well-wishes. From there, we had the whole view of the valley and Janna left us there for a good 5 minutes at least just to be together before we got in the line up for the walk down the aisle.
First down the aisle was my maid of honor with my grandma. Then, my brother–acting as Best Bro for both him and Alex’s bro still in England–walked down the moms, one on each arm. After the family, the DJ cued up Josh Ritter’s “Come and Find Me” and my first bridesmaid walked down on her own, holding our hand binding cords, followed by 3 pairs of our bridesmaids/maids of honor, and then…
Alex and her father, David…
Me and my dad, Charlie…
Alex got to watch me walk down the aisle this time…
The trees, the blue skies, the rows and rows of family and loved ones–I barely remember Alex standing at the end of the aisle as I clutched on to my dad. It was wonderful having him there with me this time–his absence at the UK wedding was felt.
With both Alex and I arrived at our meeting place (it wasn’t an altar of any kind really), Janna–my best friend growing up–welcomed us and our guests to this glorious day, our wedding. The day signified the end of our long period of engagement, as she eloquently put it, “there would be no trilogy here!” Today, she said, we had work to do: we were making a marriage where there wasn’t one, where we were told there shouldn’t be one.
She said:
Throughout history people have gathered together to determine how they should live. It was the collective gathering of people that had the power to make and un-make the rules of society. As I said we have work before us. First we must un-make a rule and in its place set a new one. Thus, would all those who affirm that the love of these two people, indeed these two woman, and any two people as a love worthy of the institution of marriage speak in one voice and say: Yes!
And boy, did we say YES! With that proclamation, Janna declared “The power of this gathered community has thus declared that the union of these two women is both legal and binding.”
So began our ceremony. With that, Janna asked our pairs of bridesmaids to come forward to read the poems we had chosen. I chose “White Writing” by Carol Ann Duffy; Alex chose “Sonnet XVII” by Pablo Neruda.
One thing that was really important to me about this ceremony was that it was written personally about us. As I had stood as a bridesmaid in Janna’s wedding and heard the reflection on her and her husband, the idea of a reflection settled really well with me. Luckily, Janna was super up for writing about the two of us! Her speech had us in tears, in laughter, smiling wholly in love, and challenging us to remember what it is that brought us together on this day of all days, home.
Once tissues were duly used, our vows were up next.
Do you Alex/Erica take Erica/Alex to be your partner and your wife; will you accept her for all that she is, for all that she will be; will you walk alongside her in laughter and sorrow; comfort and support her with courage and love; will you honor and uphold her, cherish and love her, for all of your days together?
Response: I will!
The vows went smoothly. All we had to say was “I will!” in response to Janna’s question and we were through it. The ring exchange, however, required a repeat and well, Alex kind of lost it. The reflection so beautiful, the moment just settling, she couldn’t speak beyond my name in the ring exchange! She tried a few times, and then just cried as she tried to catch her breath. Tissues came out of dress pockets, handkerchiefs from under the bridesmaids’ quilts and a few minutes later she was fine. She was embarrassed afterward, but I found it so sweet–and I was so grateful she was first to speak and not me!
What we said:
Erica/Alex, I ask you to stand by my side, my partner, my lover, my friend. As a symbol of my commitment I give you this ring, for as this ring has no end, so my love for you had no end.
Ring exchange with vows…
Vows and ring exchange sorted, we weren’t quite finished yet. As marriage isn’t legal in California (yet), it was really important to me to have some components of the ceremony that involved community-recognized traditions of marriage, like the jumping of the broom. A tradition we comfortable borrowing from was an Irish hand-binding ceremony. Some acquaintances of ours sent us there script they’d used for their ceremony, to be used with six cords each tying together what “these hands” represent in the relationship. We kept the core of it, but tweaked it for us as a couple. My favorite line read about grasping each other’s hands in grief and in the latest adventure…
Our hands tied together, we signed a simple wedding certificate created by Ten Lines Pica, a SYE-approved vendor, asked our bridesmaids to sign as witnesses and the rest of the guests to fill in the 130 lines with their signatures during the reception. While that was happening, dear friends of ours played Patty Griffin’s “Heavenly Day” in the most incredible acoustic version. It really was our heavenly day, just for that moment…
And then, we were married. Finally. Really. Janna announced us! Absolutely in front of everyone we loved, on two continents, in one year. Bound together by all that love and pronounced legally married as wife and wife…
“You are the Best Thing” by Ray La Montague burst from the speakers at the perfect moment and we danced back down the aisle together, all our bridesmaids behind us grooving along!
Before the ceremony, Janna said to meet her round the corner before heading to the cocktail hour, for just a moment together again. After everyone had followed the bridal party around the buildings and across the lawn to the Lemonade and Sweet Tea Vodka cocktails that awaited them, the three of us let out one big scream of “Yahoo!!” before there were more tears and hugs and partying to be had…
Bridesmaids leading the guests over to the cocktail hour…
All photos by Wyatt Olson Photography
Didn’t catch the previous recaps of the California Country Kitsch Love Fest? Get ‘em here:
Country Kitsch Wedding Preview!
I’m going to say this looks magical in non-cheesy way. Serious amounts of love.
LOVE! love it. LOVE.
fantastic words.
Thanks, Michelle and Ms. Grrrl!
Both of your weddings/wedding planning were inspirations to me, so it goes both ways!