Photo by Wyatt Olson Photography
A few weeks ago, I was having a blogger conversation with Kelly about my just-gone California wedding and she shared that her and Natalie wondered how I had arrived at the decision to wear a red dress… It never occurred to me to blog about it because, really, it was always what I wanted for our California wedding that I stopped thinking of it as ‘different!’ (Kind of like when Mandy was reminded that a family wedding was the ‘antithesis‘ of hers…)
I think maybe it started as a serious joke. Something I said in passing to someone when talking about the wedding–Alex’s favorite color is red and we knew it would get incorporated into one of the weddings–and maybe it just instantly made so much sense that I never went back to another idea. Plus, it helped finding the perfect wedding dress(es) when I wasn’t EVEN looking for wedding dresses yet! The quick story goes that I found my English wedding dress in a (just happened-upon) sample sale at The English Department (who rock!), went on Jenny Yoo’s website, saw the red dress, tried on one in white, and then ordered the red one!
It has pockets!
Dresses by Jenny Yoo
Ok, so I bought the red because when I tried it on in white in the shop, I started wiggling around in a happy dance that, even with my excessive enthusiasm for many things, has rarely happened to me in my life. I knew I’d found the dress! Whoo!
But I bought the dress in red for a few different reasons.
One, the color f*ckin’ rocked. I mean, poppy red in shantung silk is gorgeous.
Two, I look really good in red, if I do say so myself, and I’ve always wanted a red dress. The thing about wanting a red dress though is that wherever you wear a red dress, you’re going to be the center of attention (in my opinion) because you don’t miss a red dress. So what better time than your own wedding, right?!
Third, I really struggled with the idea of wearing a white dress, aside from the fact that it washes me out. On a superficial level, Alex wasn’t going to be wearing white because it didn’t feel right nor look good on her either. As you might remember from the English wedding, I wore a champagne (Yoo called it ‘snow’–ha! Not where I come from…) shantung silk dress. The champagne color was fitting with the light oatmeal of Alex’s suit and I glowed in the dress. But on a deeper level, I just couldn’t envision myself in a white dress the more into the wedding planning we got. A white dress to me, especially without Alex not wearing white either, really made a statement that “I was the BRIDE.” In all the photographs I’ve poured over and blogs/magazines I’d seen, no matter how gender conscious I wanted to be my eyes instantly went to ‘the white dress’ of almost every wedding I saw where only one partner wore a dress (gay or straight). There was a thorn in my side thinking that our guests–and anyone who saw our photos–would look at me as ‘the bride,’ and not Alex. And that, broke my heart.
Now, I don’t really think that only wearing a white dress makes you ‘a bride.’ Alex is my bride, through and through. But a white dress wasn’t me, wasn’t us, wasn’t what we were creating.
Lastly, another appealing thing about a red dress was that it was still a traditional wedding dress color: Chinese wedding dresses are red for good luck and to ward off evil spirits. Good luck sounded awesome, warding off any fears of gay-haters even better, and honoring the Asian-American part of my extended family that I hold very dear to me, best of all.
With all those reasons and thinking combined, I got my red dress. And I wouldn’t have it any other way…
Photo by Wyatt Olson Photography