A big thanks to Lexi Photography, on of our pro-gay vendors, for being the first photographer to submit a wedding through Two Bright Lights! I was so excited that the very first wedding was also just amazing so I could approve it immediately!
For both of us, it was the “first look” moment in the garden before the wedding began was our favorite moment. We were reluctant at first – the tradition of not seeing each other before the ceremony, etc etc – but our photographer convinced us to change how we thought about that special time. Not only was it essential from a practical perspective (e.g., we were able to enjoy the cocktail hour with our guests as well as with all the wonderful food we’d painstakingly chosen!), but it turned out to be the most tender part of the day – we were both so nervous, and when we finally saw each other, it was bliss. It helped us relax and be truly present at the ceremony.
Whatever you do, whatever your budget – get the BEST photographer you can afford. This is the only record of the event that lasts; there are a lot of terrible photographers out there, and for the most part you get what you pay for. There were things we had to forgo in order to pay for our photographer, but being highly selective and spending what we did for her work was the best decision we made – we really treasure those pictures, and every time I look at them I am transported back to the joy of that day.
Make it about you – your personalities and affinities should come across fully to your guests. We wanted our guests to feel invited into our lives, not just to another wedding. And most of our design elements were things we made ourselves – and were NOT expensive.
We can’t stress enough how perfect it was to have a special time for the two of us before the whirlwind started. I am so happy we listened to our photographer – the first look truly brought us together and resulted in 3 benefits: 1) we were able to enjoy our cocktail hour, 2) our wedding and reception photographs were much more comfortable-looking, and 3) we felt closer throughout the whole day. Don’t wait until the ceremony to see each other – it’s totally over-rated.
From the beginning, we knew we wanted our wedding to be a reflection of our personalities, no matter the size – plus, we wanted the place we were married to mean something to us. We settled on the historic Codman Estate and farm in Lincoln, where we’ve cycled on many occasions, and which we knew had a beautiful sunken Italianate garden. After we made all the larger arrangements, we started planning the smaller ones, which truly turned into a labor of love – a love letter to each other, in a lot of ways – by incorporating elements that we cared about and jettisoning others that we decided didn’t mean as much.
We did a lot of laughing and talking during that year of planning – growing closer as a couple than we had ever been before. Finally, we were fortunate to be able to celebrate our love and commitment with our families – something that many of our community do not have the luxury of having the support of – and our friends present. All in all, it was a beautiful, joyous day!
Neither of us attend a church, so we found an officiant and met with her several times before our wedding. This sounds impersonal, but our sessions with her were more like a couples-therapy meeting instead of just a fill-in-the-blanks meeting. We talked about how we met, what our family dynamics were like, our feelings about what marriage meant to us, how we dealt with problems as a couple, etc. In that short period of time, she learned about us as a couple, and she really spent time working on her statements and “sermon” (if you will), and it made a huge difference in our ceremony. I think every couple should consider someone who knows them or is willing to learn about them for their officiant – it somehow turns a pedestrian rite of passage into a magical, transformative event.
Favorite design element:
If you can, do spend time getting to know your officiant – it’s your wedding, not a visit to the RMV. Don’t negate all the work you’ve done to put together a great event by having someone read boilerplate ceremony language out of a binder. (if you can’t meet with your officiant, at least write personal vows to each other to be read and repeated.)
We both agreed that the table decorations and the flowers (and our place “cards”) were our favorite design elements, but most critical was the fact that everything – decor, flowers, food, linens – came together really beautifully, and that it was ultimately a total reflection of us. We’ve travelled to the Southwest a great deal, so we wanted that Western spirit to be carried through the reception in a number of ways – we selected the linens from a street vendor in Santa Fe, and my mother cut them and sewed them into runners; Julie is an artist, and the table cards represented our favorite artists who had painted in the Southwest or in Mexico; we wanted our flowers to be rustic and striking – and for me, the dahlias were a tribute to my great-grandmother, who grew them and lived out West; our cake was decorated to look as if it were created out of Mexican talavera tiles; and I handmade all the place card tiles from a design that Julie created.
Make sure you have someone close to you who can truly be your wingman (or woman). Weddings, no matter how small, are a lot of work, and you need to not get burned out in the process.
Really vet your caterer (if you have one) and work with the event coordinator on their team, and take their advice about event flow seriously. Our caterer and the site’s event person were amazing – they helped us figure out elements that we originally thought we wanted and suggested alternatives that made more sense logistically (like knowing what our state’s alcohol laws were and when they were required to start and stop serving, thus changing certain things like a champagne toast during the ceremony that would have resulted in a seriously curtailed reception.) If you don’t have a caterer, talk to your officiant about whether they’d be willing to be the director of the event. No one likes to go a wedding where they don’t know what they are supposed to do next or what’s happening.
Make sure the site has enough bathrooms. Seriously. Ours had two, which should have been plenty, but inevitably, there was a line – and my mom was in this line during the toast and missed it entirely. Depending on how many guests you have, you should count on renting an extra bathroom – we wish we had.
Vendors:
Photographer: Lexi Photography
Caterer: Tables Of Content
Floral Designer: Bella Floral Design
Reception Venue: Codman Estate
Dress Store: Allegria Bridal
Dress Designer: Rivini, August Jones
Cake Designer: Cakes To Remember
Band: Metro
So beautiful! What a venue! Congratulations…here’s to many many years!
absolutely gorgeous!!
love all the details … right down to those delicious looking mini cheeseburgers
Stunning stunning wedding, ladies. The second photo of you here is incredibly breathtaking. And I mean that literally: your vision of love took my breath away. Congrats!
Congratulations on your special day!
May your Wedding bring you endless joy and everlasting happiness!!
So beautiful! The light through those trees… if the pictures are this lovely I can only imagine what it was like to be there. Such a beautiful setting.
Your wedding was elegant, the venue was priceless, and in your photos I see such joy and happiness! Wishing you years of bliss!