Thanks to Nicole and Rachel for being so excited to be on So You’re EnGAYged- I’m lucky enough to be the photographer in this case!
Nicole and I met in February 2009. We had both just gotten out of messy relationships in which we had been betrayed by our partners, and we were seeking out genuine friendships. We both felt “done” with dating for a while and just wanted to expand our social circles to get us out of our houses and distract us; we are both homebodies by nature and did not want to be stewing in our own misery at home. It was also important to both of us to meet other queer people since most of our friends were straight. This is how we both ended up on OkCupid, seeking friendships.
Neither of us felt a romantic attraction that first day. We weren’t looking for it, and we just enjoyed each other’s company. We had both met up with other people for friendship before, and never had it been this smooth and fun…and other connections had faded out because of distance and availability.
We were talking online in early March one night, in a way that felt so subtly flirty that neither of us could have called it, and I was telling Nicole how I used to have long hair up until a few years ago. She was surprised, and I showed her a photo from college. I was 30 pounds heavier then, and I told her that she’d better think I’m cuter now. She said, “Oh, I’m allowed to admit I think you’re cute?” That opened the conversation and we both hesitantly admitted that this didn’t feel so much like friendship anymore. Our previously planned weekend trip suddenly became a first date.
Due to still coping with the emotional damage from our prior relationships, which had only ended a few months earlier, we spoke about taking it slow. We didn’t want to miss out on what was developing, but we also wanted to make sure it was healthy and genuine. Part of this involved my pre-arranged solo trip to Belgium in late March. Through the torment of living with my ex for the last few months of our lease, Belgium had been like the spot a ballerina focuses on while twirling to keep from getting dizzy.
Nicole offered to take me to the airport. On the way there, I mentioned that I was second-guessing having only brought a heavy coat. Nicole said she would give me her light jacket to take with me, but she didn’t want me to have a reminder of her while I was there. Nicole knew that this was a trip for healing and separating myself from everything and everyone. This showed me so much about her character. She could have just offered the jacket to show her chivalry. She could even have sneakily enjoyed how that would be a reminder of her while I was away. But she clearly wanted me to take care of myself first and foremost, with no benefit to herself. It was so considerate and selfless that it melted me.
While in Belgium, I had determined not to contact anyone from home. I needed to feel fully self-sufficient for just one week. So unbeknownst to me, Nicole was at home fretting that I would come to an epiphany that I truly needed to be single for the year as I’d originally planned and that I would come back and tell her that this wouldn’t work. Worse, she feared that I would just take a cab back home and never show up to meet her at the airport.
I got off the plane and was so happy to see her standing there. I felt like I had taken a very important journey, where I had done much self-reflection and gotten some headspace, and had come out of it stronger. Sure, we would both still need to take it slowly so that we could continue healing without projecting our baggage onto each other, but I knew we could do this. I missed her.
[...] So I could talk on and on about Rachel and Nicole. I mean, how can I not love someone who brings me gluten free brownies? But today, I’m going to be silent (I know, I know, hard to believe) and direct you to their side of the story over on So You’re EnGAYged. [...]
I love your story! I can relate with trying to make yourself healthy and meeting your future wife all at once. It’s hard to recognize a good thing and keep it while trying to heal yourself, but totally worth it!
I met Nicole at Adelphi. She was ALWAYS very pleasant. I haven’t met Rachel yet, but through her words, I believe she is an angel, sent to Nicole from above. I’d like to share words with you both, individually, then together.
Rachel: Because you’re “the boss”, you go first! From beginning, middle, and end, your writing and recount of your blossoming relationship is filled with pure beauty, honesty, and modesty. Your writing is poetic and something out of a movie. It seems as though you took us through your journey, and I cried and smiled along the way. It was a short story, maybe a preface to a future award-winning novel. The presence of your heart and love remained throughout. I envisioned Nicole waiting for you at the airport, which was the climax for me, because that’s when it seems as though she really gained your appreciation. I wish you both the best of luck. You seem like an AMAZING lady, and Nicole is VERY LUCKY. But so are you….and I will tell you why:
Nicole: I was kidding when I said Rachel comes first because she is the boss. But I’m not kidding when I say that you NEVER put yourself before anyone. You are patient, kind, caring, and giving. You offered the coat off of your back, to someone you were simply getting to know. When Rachel stated, “That speaks a lot for her character”, I’d have to agree and I definitely know that we are speaking of the same person. You are peaceful by nature, kind by choice. You have an everlasting love to make people happy, because that’s what makes you happy. You enjoy the simple things in life, and always have. You never had to go to a party to get “wasted” to have fun. You were there to drive people around, to do just that–so they would be safe. Rachel is a lucky gal because she will NEVER have to think about where your heart belongs, because she should already know, it belongs solely to her. I am most positive, your home together will be the most warm and comfortable home there is to step foot into. There will be candles, love, music and continuous kisses and flames of love. Nicole, I am so proud of you for being the brave person you are, fighting all odds, and taking a stand in life. You are a true soldier, Rachel’s soldier. May you march on into the sunset, happily….ever….after!
With Love, Luck, and Respect to you both..
Stephanie C. Fazzino
I am Rachel’s mom and I am so pleased to see this!! Being from the close-minded south, I have been very frustrated to not be able to put an announcement in our newspaper. Thank you for this opportunity to show-off my daughter and her beautiful fiance’! I love them both and look very forward to their wedding – and seeing Kelly’s beautiful pictures of it!!
What a wonderful story of how friendship can turn into something more. Taking that time in Belgium was hard but so important and worthwhile to your own healing time. I wish you both many happy years together.
I have been friends with Nicole since high school.I have never seen anyone that makes Nicole more happy than Rachel.I was so honored when Nicole and Rachel wanted me in their bridal party. I wish both Nicole and Rachel a lifetime of love and laughter. I love them both very much and cant wait to see them get married.
Love always,
Julie Bodach
[...] Kelly Bio Bio: Chief Creative Officer and Co-Founder of So You're EnGAYged | Posts So you saw their engagement pictures yesterday- so how exactly did they get engayged?Nicole had been ring shopping since around [...]