Sam and I have decided to go the paperless route for our wedding invitations. The reasons for this are both financial and environmental. Sam feels pretty strongly about going paperless (and she has been quite laid back about most other aspects of the wedding). We talked about it briefly, and her points were valid (cheap/almost free, easy tracking and follow up and no paper making its way to our guests’ trash cans). Easy! The decision is made, but I have to admit I’m nervous.
From the beginning of the planning process, I have insisted that invitations are just not something that I care about. Of course, there are many aspects of wedding planning that I proclaimed not to care about 6 months ago (attendant attire, etc.) and have since developed surprisingly strong feelings about. To be completely honest, I still don’t care about the invitations. I care what people think about us and our wedding.
Part of this is standard wedding anxiety- the feeling (however valid) that people are paying attention to this rite of passage you’re taking and the party that goes with it, and everyone has an opinion. There is also some specific gay wedding anxiety rearing its ugly head here. Even with so much involvement from our very loving and supportive families, I still feel pressure to prove that our wedding is real, particularly to guests a few degrees removed from us. And, of course, nothing says “wedding” like a big square envelope with lots of postage on it.
All in all, our wedding is shaping up to be much more traditional than I would have expected. It’s a combination of us wanting some traditional elements that we didn’t initially realize that we wanted and also deferring to our parents on some things that just mean more to them than to us. I think in some ways, the overall traditional feel is making it harder to veer off the script here and there.
As I said, the decision has been made, and I do think it’s what is best. I guess I’m just surprised at the intensity of my feelings about something I never thought I’d bat an eye at. Has anyone else gone paperless? Were any of your guests confused/uneasy with the lack of a physical invitation?
I think it’s great that you are going paperless! How exactly will you be getting your wedding information to your guests? Are you sending everything via email?
I’ve considered going this route myself because it saves paper AND money, but in the end have decided to get them printed on recycled paper. I’m a graphic artist so I’ll be designing them myself (look out for a DIY once I actually get them done!). Good for you to compromise with Sam on this. And don’t worry about it not appearing like a real wedding! Anyone that even has that thought at all would think it with or without printed invitations AND they don’t deserve to come anyway ;)
LOVE that you went paperless! I think it’s a great idea. We didn’t go paperless, we went paper-minimal: physical invitations for the basics then email and website for the detailed info (ie: maps, locations, accomodations, etc). I was nervous about that too, and I think it worked out better because you’re so right when you say that things end up in people’s trash (or get lost)! At least if it’s in their email or online they can access it whenever they need it! Though not traditional, the fact is that paperless is much more convenient for both guests and you. And Nicole is right about how people will feel about it not feeling like a “real” wedding… invitations won’t necessarily change some of those feelings. We had similar worries around people not taking the wedding seriously enough, and in the end what makes people feel like it was a “real” wedding is the “real” experience of being there – It’s a powerful thing to witness two people get married, and paper vs electronic invites will be the furthest thing from anyone’s mind in that moment!
Thanks Nicole and Mandy. I needed to hear it! :)
Nicole- We are going to use Paperless Post (paperlesspost.com) or something similar. There are a few different companies offering the service, and we are still comparing.
We want to go paperless for some/most of our save the date/invites, etc. for both green and cost reasons. We are worried about some of the same things re: what people will think, but Paperless Post looks great! More interesting and formal than some kind of email, which helps with those worries. Thanks for the suggestion. Hope you’ll update on who you decide to go with and how you like them.
I got married almost two years ago and we went paperless. We had a great response. We did the invites, the website and the giftlist. I was lucky as I was marrying a rather clever web developer who spent almost 6 months building the site in his spare time. It looked amazing!
We were lucky that all of our guests could access the site. My 86 year old Nanna is on Facebook so we had no troubles there. The feedback was so good we decided to turn our idea into a business and last September launched Paperless Wedding. We are not as big as some of the players out there, but we specialise in what we do best, invites, RSVP, websites and gift lists. We strive to be as eco-friendly as possible and offer the personal touch to people wanting a bespoke service.
We are now in Australia and New Zealand, but clients have used us in the UK, America and China!