When we got married in England, we had two people in our wedding party: our brothers. Our Best Men, they were amazing. And for their wedding gifts we took the more ‘traditional’ route of giving them their wedding accessories: purple tie and cuff links for Alex’s brother, green tie and cuff links for my brother. Sorted.
Our wedding party in California, however, is much bigger: we each have a maid of honor, three bridesmaids plus my best friend is officiating. That’s 9 ladies total.
For ages now, we’ve known that we want our guests to wear white knots for marriage equality during the wedding. My maid of honor dutifully tied them and stored them in a clean Tupperware box months ago for safe keeping on the big day. We haven’t quite figured out how we’ll distribute them–in baskets and handed out before the ceremony or on the table during the reception–but they’ll be there. Regardless, we knew we wanted to get fancier ones for our ladies (and probably our parents & siblings as well) from Holden Marks, The Official White Knot Collection. While I’d love it if more than 10% of the net proceeds went to marriage equality campaigns, 10% is something and the lasting awareness even more. (I’ve also just emailed them to find out what their quantity discount is as $15/pin is a lot times 9 +)
White Knot Pins by Holden Marks
But what to go with the pins? Are the pins enough?
Because Alex and I both love tea–what can we say, we live in England–and it would be nice to have something from this little island to give our favorite ladies, I thought about mugs. Well, to be specific, our favorite mugs by Orla Kiely, an Irish designer based in London. Alex wasn’t super keen on the idea, but aren’t they pretty?
And, Alex does have a point: do we really want to figure out how to get 9 mugs to California from London (even if shipped from the website). Don’t we have enough to figure out logistically? The answer is we do, as you might realize as well from my posts, but we’ve also thought of another, unbreakable alternative: books.
I work for an educational charity called More To Life that, in addition to putting on personal development programmes, also has a small range of publications produced by some of my team members and written by one of the co-founders K. Bradford Brown. There is a set of 6 Guidelines that sit pretty on the shelf next to me at my desk on different themes: Creativity, Success, Love, Relationships, Feelings & Spirituality. I tend to pick one every other week or so, flip to a quote and leave in on my desk. And I recently brought a set home for Alex and I to have, and inside are quotes like this which just resonate with me, our relationship and what we want to create for our weddings:
Love doesn’t fix things. It transforms them. – K. Bradford Brown
Our wedding is all about love: our love and our commitment to the union based on love, the shared love of our families and friends coming together, an awareness that love is what will remain whether or not we actually get a piece of paper in October that says we are legally equal to other couples in my home state.
So, as you might guess, we’re thinking of giving each member of our wedding party a Guidelines to Love book as well as a White Knot pin. The books might not cut down on our logistical planning for the wedding, but we know we’ll be giving our ladies gifts for being our witnesses, supporters and friends that will stay with them for a long time after the actual day.