Engaged people are supposed to get cold feet, right? Nervous about making a huge commitment, worried about what it all means, yes? But since Lynn and I did our committing in Boston last summer, we’re just throwing a big, special party, where we re-say all of the important stuff in a place where our family and friends can hear it. The decision is made, and we’re in it for life, so that pressure is off.
What I’ve got now is itchy feet. We’re a month away from the wedding, and there are TONS of little details that I could be working on. Could be. But for some reason I just can’t seem to focus. I think a lot of the problem is that everything is sort of small—we need to get our rings engraved, and the engagement rings cleaned. I wanted to make hair appointments to try out different styles, even though our hair won’t be done by the same person as the one practicing. I need to buy mini clothespins and something to wear to our rehearsal, and hand out assignments to helpful relatives. But so far all I can do is stare at other peoples’ wedding pictures and wonder how ours is possibly going to come together in the next 30 days.
That said, the nicest part of this phase has been getting back the RSVP cards. A lot of people can’t make it (that’s the problem with a destination wedding), but a lot will be there. Yesterday I got an RSVP from my great-aunt, saying she couldn’t make it. Every time I see the ‘no’ box checked, especially from an older relative, I have to fight down the urge to interpret why they aren’t coming. Is it because they disapprove? Do they think that what we’re doing is wrong? Or is it just to difficult to travel once they reach a certain age? I was dealing with this, trying to tell myself that this woman I’ve known from birth—the auntie who always had a toy hidden in her house just in case I came to visit—wasn’t judging me. And then I noticed that the other piece of mail in my hand wasn’t another RSVP, it was a letter. From my auntie. She said how much she wished she could be there, wished us all the happiness in the world, and asked that we send pictures so she can keep up better with our lives and feel like she had been there. Although it’s not helping with the details, her note is helping with the bigger picture.
So I’m waiting for more notes, more RSVPs, and for my sense of urgency to kick in and make me actually accomplish the things left on the list. Wish me luck! I think I’m going to need it…
I cannot believe you have a month left! That is so soon.
I think it is wonderful that your great-aunt sent an extra letter telling you how much she wanted to come.
The closer to the wedding I get, the more I think about relatives who have passed or are too frail to make the trip to VT. I grew up with a large extended family, but the ones I was closest to were mostly my grandfather’s generation. While it is hard not having them there because I miss them, it is also hard because I will never know if they would have approved of my wedding.
When I came out, my grandfather was the last to know. My parent’s weren’t sure of his reaction, so I waited until I graduated college to tell him. Turns out he was upset because he was the last to know. People are funny that way.
I think this is the most adorable blog post on SYE yet! The feet pictures! Oh, the feet pictures!
What a sweet note. It will come together, I promise. Planning can be completely and utterly overwhelming but just focus on the love that you have. The details are for a moment and the love expression is forever. =)