Well after a tumultuous and stressful holiday season has finally closed on a wonderful “it was worth all the hard work” note, I’m preparing now to launch into full fledged wedding planning mode. Yes that’s right the rehearsal is over now its time for the big show. Since I’ve only written a few updates thus far and will now be picking up the pace in my writing I thought I might offer a closer look into our wedding and its inspiration and the road leading to where we are…
For me there are few brighter shining moments in the year than the fall season, the crispness in the air, the harvest, the food, and the colors all fill me with an warm glow that I anticipate all summer long. Joey and I met and fell in love during the fall months and this has only enhanced my deeply wrought affection for the season.
Specifically the crown jewel of this time of year in my eyes is Halloween. It has always been my favorite holiday and I have so many fond memories from my childhood of carving pumpkins, wearing costumes made by mom, my father sitting outside shaking chains to scare kids. As a young gay teen this fondness grew during a time where everyday I felt more and more like a outsider and Halloween was a day that you could let your freak flag fly (even in the most conservative little town in Northern California). I was fortunate enough to fall in love with a man who understands this mild obsession of mine.
I had mentioned early in our courtship that I had a dream of a Halloween themed wedding and Joey was one of the first people who really understood that. Over our years together Halloween has become more deeply rooted in traditions and lavishness than even Christmas (although Christmas is still Joey’s hands down favorite J After we became engaged and inevitably needed to set a date Joey was quick to hop on board the Halloween wedding train. My parents were initially less enthusiastic…
My mother is a wedding force to be reckoned with, a former professional wedding florist and now experienced wedding planner she knows her stuff and how to make it happen. When we broke the news to her that we had set a date in mid-October 2010 and were looking to throw a festive fall wedding with an emphasis on Halloween themes a soft and subtle glaze fell over her eyes. I’ve slowly come to realize that my mother had been planning my wedding in her head for sometime now and Halloween was definitely not in the plan.
Like all Catholics my mother knows many clever maneuvers to guide you towards a new way of thinking about something (ex. Her way). Unfortunately for her, our very close bond means that I know how she works and was quickly able to tell what she was doing. She would never ever say to us that we couldn’t have a Halloween wedding or that she wouldn’t pay for such a thing, its not in her nature to deny her loved ones anything. She is a extremely loving, generous and open minded person but she did try numerous times to tweak the theme to move it away from All Hallows Eve. I think the first was an attempt to plan the wedding in the summer so as to avoid the unpredictable fall weather. Which is was a valid point and one I had considered but had already let go as being out of my control, plus Joey and I both love the rain so if we have to get married in the rain… that’s not so bad! The second attempt was to move the theme away from Halloween and more towards Masquerade. A very cool idea indeed, one I had once seen on TV executed quite well but it still wasn’t what we wanted.
Eventually and after several more failed attempts at redirection my mother expressed her concerns outright to me that she didn’t want to throw a Halloween party, that there were many opportunities in life to have one of those but our wedding should be more special and more elegant than a Halloween party. I had come to realize that my mother and I were not on the same page as to what we were thinking a Halloween wedding might look like. She had visions of ghouls, goblins, horror films, black and orange crepe paper and the monster mash playing on loop. Where as our vision was much more subtle, elegant purple and orange decorations, beautiful floral arrangements with mums and fiddlehead reeds, romantic lighting from carved pumpkins and lanterns hung from the trees. We didn’t want to undermine this important event in our relationship by turning it into a basic party. I quickly took to designing an inspiration collage with what I had in mind. Which was filled with photos of romantic twinkling purple and orange lights, folksy owls, vintage touches like birdcage veils and Japanese lanterns, and elegant but diy flourishes like mason jars of candles and a candy buffet. She fell in love with theming after she saw this and has been excitedly on board ever since. Our wedding aesthetic is rooted in folk art, Dios de los Muertos festival, and Modern elegance all with rock and roll twist. Its reflective of our relationship and our personal taste but still special enough to be more than just another party.
Now its all about making it happen!
Ready… Set… Go!
Sounds like it’s going to be an awesome wedding. I’d want something along the lines of what you guys are doing.
P.S.It’s Dia de los Muertos :P