For the last couple of weeks Tom and I have been on pins and needles waiting for the arrival of our RSVPs (which were due June 15). Our cap was 80, we budgeted for 60, and thus far we have 16 people attending the wedding. We are waiting for about 30 more RSVPs now and I have to say, I am getting really nervous… I’ve always imagined a giant wedding. I’m starting to wonder if we will really only have 16 people there.
Now I know that if you are planning a destination wedding, one of the first things you have to accept is the fact that many of your friends and family might not be able to attend. You have to expect that some may not have the money, some may not be able to take off from work or leave their families, and some may not be able to overcome their fear of flying; all of which we have heard. In a nutshell, you just have to be prepared for a lot of “nos.” You also have to be prepared for everyone to say “yes” and budget accordingly. If not, you can be sure your expenses will shock you in the end.
We hoped our number of guests would actually meet somewhere around 30 (and we still do). But we now have to consider that it might just be the 16 of us. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t make me a little sad – I mean bigger IS better, right (says the southern gay boy with natural-born, grandiose concepts of what a wedding should look like dancing in his head)?
Don’t get me wrong, I totally get it! I mean, the current economy is absolutely horrific, making it difficult for anyone to travel to a wedding – especially a Sunday wedding in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. So when everyone in my family (mom, dad, aunts and uncles) told me this weekend that they wouldn’t be able to make it to the wedding, I totally understood. Still, I couldn’t help but feel sad, and at the same time a little bit guilty for planning a wedding in a destination so far away, at such a bad time, that people aren’t able to make it. But then I remembered the reason we chose this destination wedding in the first place and was reminded, as I have been all throughout this wedding planning process, that this day should be about Tom and me, not necessarily everyone else. Hey – this is our dream wedding!!! (It’s definitely Tom’s – he always wanted a small ceremony :))
So as of right now, there are 16 of us. We may have more, we may not. It really doesn’t matter how big your guest list is, I guess. What matters is we are getting married. I am comforted knowing that my sister will be in that number standing beside me on my big day and representing my NC family. She is in my wedding party and is probably the closest person to me in my world. Actually, all of those who are coming to the wedding are among the closest people in my world and I feel lucky that they are able to share in our special day. Who said bigger is better anyway? Not someone with a small budget!
aw, i hear you! we didn’t quite realize ours would be a “destination wedding” for a lot of folks, and anticipated a much higher percentage would come. It will be great and joyful and all the people who we need to be there are definitely coming…. it’s just hard to make the mental adjustment from the bigger party we were envisioning!
Your wedding is going to be so fantastic… the folks who come will REALLY want to be there and will be ready to throw down and make your celebration into the party you always wanted it to be. The best part about a destination wedding is that everyone who chooses to come will want to be there and want to make the weekend into an event to remember.
I am sorry that you have had so many no’s. I hated getting nos in the mail. But on the bright side, at least this way you will be able to spend quality time with everyone who does come. Also if you are very much under budget, maybe you could through a picnik/bbq when you get back for everyone who couldn’t come.