This month, I have been really focused on marriage and what it means. During May, we celebrated my graduation and mourned a death in my family. It’s a lot to be handed in one month. Soon, Ginger will finally meet the last of my extended family, and of course, it kills me that it will not be under better circumstances. This has reminded me that marriage is about supporting each other through life’s joys and hardships. We are really living this right now. When I realized that my new in-laws want to come and be a support through the funeral even though they didn’t know my grandmother, I rediscovered how much it means to me to have this new family.
Marriage is also about supporting each other’s life ambitions.
On a whim, Ginger and I posted this list of goals on our fridge months ago. 1) “Wasabi gets her MBA.” Last month, I celebrated finishing up grad school. It was a long three+ years of work in the making. While I was getting ready for graduation, Ginger cracked a bottle of champagne and handed me a mimosa. It made me think about how far we have come since toasting our college graduation. Back then, we didn’t have jobs. We didn’t know where our first apartment would be. I had taken the GMAT but had no idea what school I would end up at. We just knew that we were embarking on something together. Four years later, we have made a home in New Orleans. Ginger has held my hand through applying to Business school. She built up my confidence when I needed it. She celebrated my successes, and had lovely dinners ready when I got home late. Together, we forged through this last semester somehow, with each of us working full time and in class or studying every night. We made it through together.
Next on the list, her school stuff. This year, I will be returning to my housewife duties while I support her through post bac classes and school applications, like she did for me. Then, we will move (after the wedding) to wherever her studies take us (hopefully, somewhere with lots of snow and mountains).
Finally, “get married.” Getting married isn’t just about party planning. Though, that part is a lot of fun. It’s also about meetings with my Rabbi on conversion, and making family traditions together. It’s about talking through our future goals and making a five year financial plan. More than anything else, it’s about setting out to manifest our goals and dreams as a unit, the two of us against the world. So, I guess you could say our fridge says a lot about the kind of marriage we are planning- where the support we get from one another makes us bolder and better.
Wasabi & Ginger – I love love that you have this list on your fridge as a reminder of your goals together, and SO get from your post how much you two are making your lives as a unit. Congrats on grad school, good luck with the applications, and YAY for finding each other!
I love this post. And I love that you identified “getting married” as a goal – shows how much you value it as something that is worked towards, not something that just happens.
I’m sorry for your loss, Wasabi. I totally know what you mean here– my grandfather passed away yesterday after a sudden and sharp decline in health that required a lot from my family, and having Stacy’s support throughout the whole process meant the world to me. It really does put the “in good times and bad” part of marriage into focus.