Hello Supporters & Allies, Critics and Sign-holders… Dear People Against Gay Marriage and People Against Marriage… How’s it going, Peanut Gallery and the Preached-to-Choir,
I’d like you to meet my wife.
Her name is Alex, short for Alexandra, previously known as ‘Topsey.’ She is 5’2″ with eyes of brown that squint up real tight when she smiles. Roughly 99% of the time, she orders a mocha from a coffee shop; the other 1% of the time, we are in California and she orders Iced Tea instead. She became my wife, my civil partner, on 17th April 2010. She is the medic and I am the writer. She loves to read and I think the Blue Whale is the most amazing creature on earth. Sometimes I tell her she has whale’s eyes, cause hers are so soft and compassionate, but she doesn’t really like that all too much… In case that wasn’t reason enough to fall in love with her (and for those of you that can’t hear her laugh or watch her smile, I can understand there might be some disconnect), let me explain why I married her.
Reason #1: We like to be practical.
I don’t know about you, but I like to live in the same country as the person with whom I’m in love. I also like to share a flat and a bedroom with her and, sometime in the future, I’d like to share a mortgage with her as well. Alex and I also want a family with little children running round and maybe a small dog or black cat and we’d like to ensure that each of us, together, can protect and support our family, however we might come together. It is also pretty radical, if you’re still reading this dear people, that if she gets sick, I can hold her hand in the hospital, and if I pass away, she will be given all that was mine. They may seem like small things to ask for in life on this internet page, but I have been told–and done extensive research–that being married helps obtain these things more easily.
Reason #2: Sometimes you can’t always be practical.
This reasoning is often the domain of the poet–’I love you this way because I know no other way of loving’ (Pablo Neruda) and ‘No vows written to wed you,/I write them white,/my lips on yours,/light in the soft hours of our married years.’ (Carol Ann Duffy)–and being a poet, I could dwell here for hours. I won’t now, that would never do for a blog–but, remember my wife? She wraps her arms around me when I’m cranky or sad and says, ‘Let me love you.’ She understands the need to have maple syrup, peanut butter and soya milk in our cupboards at all times. If only you could meet her, if you could see us together, I think then maybe you would understand instantly. Maybe. Well then, have you ever written your own vows, or spoken about marriage in the same breath as courage and love and faith? Have you ever picked out a ring to wear on your left-hand and as you were looking at the myriad choices thought, ‘I want this to remind me of *insert wedding date here* and know in my heart I was true?’ Has your family ever stood around you and told you, whether it was spoken or not: today, we love you; today, we uphold you as one; today, we say you are married and we couldn’t be more excited? Well then, maybe you’re getting closer…
Reason #3: Commitment rocks.
I’ve never been one for affairs or cheating. A one-woman-woman we both are, but allow me to let you in on a secret I’ve discovered in the last few weeks: being married doesn’t just mean I can’t be with somebody else–physically, emotionally, whatever–I realized, in the very core of me now, how much I don’t want to be with anyone else but her. And that, my friends, no matter which way you spin it, is so much cooler. Bring on the tattoo over my heart, I say.
Reason #4: Love.
If you type the word ‘love’ into iTunes, the search results give you 200 songs. If you search for books on Amazon with the word ‘love,’ they provide you with 219,828 titles to choose from. If you Google ‘love,’ there are 1,300,000,000 pages you can browse across the internet. And if you could see the way I look at my wife, you would know instantly that the first word that came from lips the morning after we first kissed was ‘love.’ End of story. Period. Y punto. I married her because I love her. She married me because she loves me.
Why marriage? Meet my wife.
Yours sincerely,
Erica, wife
Photo by Cornish Wedding Photography
I loved this. I’m quite fond of the mushy parts. :-)
Beautiful thoughts, beautifully written. I am happy for the two of you from the bottom of my heart.
Spectacular post. Really, really lovely. You are both very lucky women.
This is so beautifully written, it brought tears to my eyes. Well done on finding each other.
You two are pretty much the cutest couple ever, your wedding looks like it was so much fun. Congratulations!
Yay! I LOVE this! :)
This brought tears to my eyes as well. Absolutely beautiful!
Stunning and heartfelt. It oozes your voice and sincerity! Love, love you both!
I loved it too! And, you two are sooo freakin’ cute!