If you plan on feeding your guests in any kind of manner, this will, without a doubt, be your biggest expense. If your having a wedding with a budget of $20,000 or less, this will probably be at least half your budget. Typically, if you invite more than 100 people, your looking at $10,000 minimum. That’s for tables, chairs, forks, knives, linens, food and serving. Obviously there are major exceptions, like if you have a potluck wedding or grill yourself in a park. Restaurants are also a lot cheaper option. But even the $10,000 Bride Blog had a to put a call out looking for caters who wouldn’t cost more than $10,000(she did have a 120+ people though). And that was previously her whole budget.
The biggest way to save a significant amount of money is to cut your guest list. It will possibly save you hundreds of dollars a person. Obviously some services are not affected by the amount of people to a certain degree(like photography or music, though if your hitting 200 people or more it starts affecting everything). But things like cake, food, reception space, ceremony space, transportation, diy projects, and more all add up very quickly per person.
Going back to the money part, a guest list may be hard to come up with especially if your parents or a significant person in your life is contributing money. So coming up with a guest list(just the two of you) and then talking to others in the family about it is the best course of action.
Easy people to cut:
- Do not say “And Guest” on the RSVP card. My rule was if you have been living with or are in a committed relationship of more than 6 months(and I have met said person) I specifically added their name to their invitation. No confusion.
- We waffled a lot about inviting children. In the end, we specifically invited a handful of children we were close to. We love kids but the idea of letting everyone bring their kids…it was looking like that would add 20 or more people to our guest list. Yikes. Plus, what kid wants to sit still for a 45 minute Jewish Ceremony. Booooooring.
- If I haven’t seen(or talked to) the person in a year- their off the list. Even if I went to their wedding.
Hard people to cut:
- Family friends. If your trying to have a wedding with 50 or less people, most likely, your going to have to severally limit your parents friends. Talking with your parents about this and previously having a stated guest list of 50 or less is helpful when you hear “But Shelby knitted you a baby blanket and we have worked together for 11 years!” You can easily bring up the budgeted for guest list. Let the people swapping on the guest list begin.
- Extended family. I come from a family of 4, so extended family is weird for me. I really just don’t feel like anything beyond my nuclear family counts as ‘family’. I’m weird. But when I made a guest list with Nat’s family, I was like “What???!? Why are we inviting aunts I have never met! We have been together 6 years and if I haven’t met them yet, probably means I don’t want them at our wedding.” This did not fly. My idea of family is very very limited. Nat’s idea of family is very very big. A more distant relative called our parents pretty spastic about not being invited, which we hadn’t thought would be a problem because we weren’t that close. While I was upset, wanting a small wedding, sometimes family things are beyond your control particularly if you dont want tons of drama. I think Natalie and I did a really good job at making it about us, out love, etc. but this was one thing that pissed me off. But what I learned is only you know your family…and you should consult with parents, sibs, etc. about who they are worried about. We all have the drama-filled-has-to-always-be-about-them person in our family. So go carefully. Cutting extended family can be really hard and can hurt some people.
- Friends. Sorta. Family seems to take up 80-90% of guest lists. So you have very limited space for friends. Childhood friends and current friends can be tricky. Childhood friends you have a whole history with. But are you talking to them regularly? No? Cut! Are your newer friends actively involved in your life?
http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/dealing-with-guest-list-drama