Despite all the joy I feel to be planning our second wedding in my hometown in California, the event and location feels intertwined in California’s recent legal history and the passage of Prop 8. This is a whole mixed bag of emotions that I am guessing many of you feel and are dealing with or incorporating into your own wedding planning.
For me, our California wedding is an educational and political opportunity as much as a celebration of our love and committment to one another. As part of that, Alex and I are going to make white knots for all our guests to wear for our ceremony and reception.
If you don’t know, the white knot is the symbol for marriage equality. I saw it first on TV at one awards show or another where a bunch of celebrities were wearing them (Oscar’s and Harvey Milk, I think…) but you can read all about it over at WhiteKnot.org
You can also find a handy-dandy White Knot kit! Of course, you could buy your own supplies and DIY-it, but this way your proceeds are going straight (queer?) to the fight for marriage equality.
White Knot Kit, Image from WhiteKnot.org
Alex and I are thinking of asking our guests to each bring a red button in exchange for a white ribbon at the ceremony. Red button for our wedding quilt, a reminder of their love. White ribbon from our wedding, a reminder of our love. We’d like to have a few baskets at the back and a few near and dear friends passing them out before the ceremony begins.
We would also like to include our wedding party in the white ribbon goodness too (a total of nine kick-ass ladies who will preside and stand as our official witnesses, readers, officiants, and fellow boogiers for the spiritual ceremony we are creating). While I was searching online for information and suppliers, I came across White Knot Pins–a brass lapel pin design I am thinking about as a dressier version for our ladies-of-honor. Plus, 10% of their proceeds go to Marriage Equality USA.
White Knot Pin, Image from WhiteKnotPin.com
We’re pretty stoked about seeing this come together for our ceremony. How are you incorporating the political into the personal? Are you choosing to include marriage equality information into your ceremony, reception, decorations, registries or gifts?
I love the idea of the exchange–would you do that instead of or in addition to some kind of guest book? Maybe you could have fabric squares and pens for people to write on (and pin their offering to) and make the quilt out of that?
Our political stuff all seems to be leaving–every time I think of something it doesn’t quite work out, so i think we may end up being pretty subtle. But Lynn has had to explain to two straight people (young, hip straight people in a major city, no less) in the last week that no, our marriage isn’t legal in our state and both times they’ve been completely shocked. So maybe just getting married is still more political than it feels?
I really like the idea of white knots. I keep looking for ways to add in a symbol of marriage equality to our wedding and so far this is my favorite.
@ emily I think it is wonderful that people assume we can get legally married. This week in DC, we are having hearings before the city council prior to the vote to pass gay marriage in the district. There really isn’t much question that it will pass, but opponents want Congress to overturn the legislation (part of the joy of not being a real state).
Wow! I’m totally loving those white knot enamel pins! They rock and would make an awesome addition to my bouquet of 1960′s enamel flower pins! Thanks!