I didn’t always know what I wanted to wear to my wedding. For the first couple months, I waffled back and forth about it. A nice grey vest with pants seemed much more comfortable, but in the end my newly discovered girly side won. I didn’t want a typical princess dress, but something without poof in blue, silver, or gold. Nothing too sparkly or lacy, but preferably with pockets (everything should have pockets).
I found a Nicole Miller dress online that I really liked and which was reasonably priced (especially if I bought it used) so I made an appointment at the store.
photo via eDress
However I didn’t go to the appointment. I wanted to try the dress on, but I was scared of the dress and the salespeople. It sounds kind of funny now, but two Sundays ago I was terrified of the dress-trying-on experience.
The only dress I have bought in the last 5 years was for engagement photos and it was a multiple store process. I would walk in a store and nitpick at their dresses so I didn’t have to try any of them on. I like picking them out for J to try one, but somewhere between looking at and trying on I encounter this giant wall of fear. I like looking, just not the trying on part.
Anyone else have this problem? And are bridal dress sale women really as terrifying as I think they are?
Personally, I totally get that. Part of the reason I’ve said from the beginning that I don’t want to wear a dress is because I don’t want to go through the rigamarole of trying one on. The thought of going into the store is very intimidating to me.
That being said, though, logically, I know that the bridal stores aren’t all the same. I have gone with friends of mine while they was looking for dresses, and both places were very laid-back, the atmosphere very casual. So while I think that some of the salespeople are terrifying and pushy, it depends on the store. If you haven’t already, maybe you could ask around, find a smallish, local store with non-terrifying people, and start there. Or take a big group of friends with you and make them do the talking to the salespeople.
Good luck!
Thanks for the advice. I think I might start out at a department store without any of the salespeople. The stores are so intimidating, especially if you aren’t planning on spending thousands of dollars on your dress.
I was really scared of bridal stores too. Which kinda came out of left field since I’m very femme and comfortable in a dress. But, everything seemed so high stakes with wedding dress shopping: more expensive dresses, pushy salespeople, veils just being plopped onto your head without your consent. It freaked me out. That’s why I secretly went wedding dress shopping with Ginger before the big family wedding dress shopping trip. My advice is to find a small, modern store and give it a try. It really wasn’t as scary as I made it out to be. We had a really sweet salesperson who was so helpful and laid back. And, actually the big family trip wasn’t that big, and I had fun.
I am glad that I am not the only one. It seems like such a silly fear. When we got engaged, I started watching those bride shows on tv and now Say yes to the dress is what I picture as a wedding dress shopping experience. (funny side note, the first episode I saw I thought the dress budget was the budget for the whole wedding). Also I keep delaying being serious about looking for a dress because in 9 months I might hate whatever I choose now.
I think the dress is killer and that you would look amazing in it for sure!
Thank you! If I ever get my butt into the store I will post pictures so you can see if it is true.
I have to say, we had a really good experience at the store where we finally got our dresses. The salesperson had a good eye for what would look good on us. Although it was clear we were her first same-sex couple, she caught on to and was quite excited about the concept of finding complementary but not identical dresses. She worked with our sizes and shapes, instead of suggesting that we should come in with bodies that worked for her dresses. And the store sold consignment dresses, which kept the prices down. (Each of ours was under $500.)
However, there is a lot of variation in the stores. We had one in which the salesperson just seemed determined to get us to buy dresses way outside our price range, and was not paying the slightest bit of attention to what we liked or disliked about the dresses.
The store you went to sounds great. Is it in the DC area?
Natalie got her dress in Florida and I got mine in DC. I went to almost every dress store in DC to peak but ended up getting my dress at I Do I Do in MD.
I loved:
-The sales people and owner went out of their way to help me
-The fact that most of their dresses are samples or consignment means much cheaper and less pressure to buy one thats $$$
-The selection is bigger than most stores I felt.
What I didn’t like:
-I freakin hate the policy I can’t take a picture of a dress I like and send it to my mom before I buy the dress. Most bridal shops have this policy but it made me almost walk away because Nat’s shop did not have this policy.
- Do not not not use their seamstress. She was mean, made weird comments once she actually understood we were gay(like she asked Nat is she was wearing a tux b/c I was getting a dress, ummm, way to assume), and she made a MAJOR mistake with Nat’s sisters dress(she got water all over the back of the satin dress and claimed it would go away….it didn’t…but she didn’t offer to fix or help even when we told her how upset we were
So take a look at them! Most other shops in DC are $$$$$ and pressure cookers.
I had seen I Do I Do in the Washington City Paper awards last year and had noticed another bride comment about how much she hated the seamstress also. It is weird that they keep her even when she is obviously unprofessional. I also had noticed how beautiful your dress was in your pictures. Did you go with Natalie to buy your dress? I have gone shopping with J ever since we started dating and not getting her opinion on my dress is really hard for me to imagine.
Yup! We both went dress shopping with each other. Initially, I bought a wedding dress on Ebay so I wasn’t even going to have a dress shop experience but 2 months before the wedding our closet leaked and my dress got badly stained. So I ended up shopping with Natalie :)
I LOVED seeing her try on all the dresses and can’t imagine having missed that. It was so fun and because we were getting ready together so we had already chucked the whole ‘wait till the ceremony to see each other’ we enjoyed helping each other find our dresses.
I cannot believe your first dress was ruined! That must have been a horrible realization. I intially brought up the idea of not seeing each other. Now I don’t want buy a dress without her, but she doesn’t want to me to see her in her dress. I feel like overall the dress isn’t such a big deal and after I settle all the vendors I can start to think about what to wear. It is nice to know that I can wait until 2 months before.
I am a huge bargain hunter, but my fear of wedding dress shopping squelched all of that. I tried on dresses at one store and then bought the one I liked online. Regular me would have gone to dozens of stores, but the wedding dress stores scared the crap out of me.
Ha. I think I will end up walking out of a lot of places until I find somewhere where the salepeople don’t pressure me. Was the one store you went to intimidating? Where did you buy the dress online? I have noticed there are some really good deals.
I went to one non-intimidating place with my mom and best friend in L.A. But I live in Canada & didn’t want to do wedding dress shopping alone. I did go in to a couple of places but ran out before trying anything on. Getting undressed in a bridal shop felt like giving them too much power over me and like I’d be trapped. Maybe I’m a weirdo :p I bought my dress online because it was cheaper. I just went with the one I saw tried that made my mom cry at the L.A. bridal store. I highly recommend Netbride for online shopping.
I feel like you are trapped in the store. The dress is too big to get off and on quick and you cannot leave with the dress on. I have been lurking on some of the used wedding dress websites and while it seems like a good deal, I don’t want to order it without having tried the dress on before.