Back in Stage 1 of our wedding planning, in the innocent yesteryear when we lived in Los Angeles and our brand-new engagement basked in glow of California’s equal rights recognition, we were aiming for an August 2009 wedding. My dream wedding, in fact – a small group of our closest friends on a stretch of So Cal beach, me barefoot in a flirty white sundress from a Silverlake vintage shop, Chris barefoot in flowy linen pants and a white top. An intimate ceremony at sunset, followed by marshmallow roasting around a fire-pit and ample amounts of drinking. Cheap, simple, and perfectly magical.
Unfortunately, that option didn’t last very long. It’s not that either one of us are particularly obsessed with the ceremony being ‘legal’ (in fact, our ceremony in Spain won’t be legal, since neither of us are residents), but our best excuse for having a wedding in Los Angeles disappeared right along with California’s marriage rights. If our wedding wasn’t even legal there, how could we justify choosing a place that was so far away and cost-prohibitive for all our friends? To compound the problem, Chris got a great job offer in Dallas, and we decided to move back to Texas. Now Los Angeles would be a destination wedding for us, too, and it would be a lot harder to organize even simple things, not to mention the added costs of a hotel and car rental. And despite how much I loved living in LA, it is definitely not my idea of a honeymoon. Which meant another flight and vacation expenses on top of the actual wedding. Costs were ratcheting up considerably.
After much discussion (and a few tears from me), we decided to push the wedding back a year and reevaluate. But as a consolation prize, Chris suggested we do engagement photos on my very favorite beach, El Matador. We’d ruled out having the wedding there, even before the legal drama, since there are no restrooms (take it from a girl who grew up on an island: excessive drinking + no restrooms = lots of peeing in the ocean. And who wants to do that in fancy wedding clothes?) One of the girls I worked with, Denisse Villalba, is a photographer, and graciously offered to do our shoot for super cheap (plus some free booze). Here are a few of my favorite shots:
She took over 200 photographs, and despite the wind and freezing water she easily got 20 great photos. (Beaches in January are COLD!!!! Even in Southern California, despite what they tell you about the weather.) We did a costume change mid-way through when my blue dress got soaked and kept falling off me from the weight of the water. About a hundred of her discard shots are of me holding my dress up, or my boobs flailing around when I forgot and let go. But the photos she did get are stunning! All of the shots were candid, and Chris and I got to laugh and dance and run up and down the beach, totally silly and wildly in love. It was a great preview of our wedding day, and I wouldn’t change any of it – not even the cold. We’re blowing up this last one poster-size and hanging it our bedroom. I think of all the photos, this captures our relationship the best. (Although if you look closely, we have a mutant Elvis hair-do that’s taking over our heads! Which just makes me love it more… )
Your original plan sounds amazing, even with the peeing in the ocean. Getting married in Spain sounds so romantic. How did you pick that country?
Love the final photo! Yay!
We decided if we were ditching LA, we had to pick somewhere that would also double as our honeymoon (to cut back on costs), and it was also really important to us to pick somewhere that had progressive gay rights laws. (I felt uncomfortable pouring so much money into an infrastructure that fundamentally rejected our relationship.) I also really wanted beaches, and Chris wanted castles, so Spain it is! Although I’m still hoping to work in marshmallow roasting somewhere… :)
Yay for Dallas! Texas boy myself and won’t be too far far from you. When you get settled drop me a line and we’ll do some more pics!
Clayton
I am also going to have marshmellow roasting, but the night before the wedding. I cannot wait to see pictures of your ceremony site. Somehow it just seems better across the ocean.
@Clayton: That sounds great! I love your photos :) And it’s always fun to meet more Texans…
@ Ms. Sparrow: Oooh, marshmallow roasting the night before – I hadn’t thought of that! I’ve been stressing out recently about not planning a rehearsal dinner. We’re not having a bridal party, so it’s really just us and our officiant who have to rehearse… but since our friends are coming all the way to SPAIN, I feel I should at least feed them… maybe tapas followed by marshmallows on the beach can be our rehearsal “dinner”!
I feel in love with these bags even before I knew we had a fire pit at our site.(http://greetingarts.typepad.com/greetingarts/2007/09/i-is-for-instru.html) Sewn vellum seems so perfect to me. I am kinda of jealous of your friends. How great is it to have an excuse where you have to go to Spain.
Beautiful pictures. And not to be all whiny, but it sucks that we have to have all this extra expense and planning and traveling and such just to have a legal right that should be available to us.