After a 63 degree day in December in Chicago, her hairstylist being stuck in fog, and her nerves causing her face to break out in hives, Aeleise says the chaos couldn’t touch her favorite moment: walking down the aisle.
Joy and I decided not to see each other the day of and looking at her as my father walked me down the aisle was utterly amazing. We couldn’t take our eyes off of each other and kept giggling like nervous little kids
Finding my dress was an accident. I so was not going for the poofy traditional princess dress. I thought I wanted sexy, but all of the sexy, slinky wedding dresses were not made to fit my bust and behind at the same time. After a few disheartening dress trials, I decided to hit up the Priscilla of Boston sample sale by myself. Big mistake. Who knew that 4 wedding dresses could weigh 100 lbs. while waiting 45 minutes for a dressing room. The dress was not cute on the hanger and only reason I picked it up was because the price tag said $199. But the minute I put it on all of the princess came shining out of me. It was simple, unadorned, and I felt like a million bucks floating in raw silk. It was heavy but not pretentious which meant I could dance, eat, and drink in it. I went shopping with the idea of looking and not buying so I had no money with me. I’m standing in the store holding on to my dress with one hand and my phone with the other trying to get somebody to pay for it. Joy was in a meeting so my mother gave me her info so I didn’t have to hold on to my dress for dear life all day.
Our ceremony was a sacred transformation for us as individuals and as a couple. Pastor Phyllis V. Penesse, M. Div. of Pillar of Love Fellowship Church officiated. The reason why I came back to Chicago was to attend the memorial service on December 1, 2007 of the man I consider my second father. Pastor Phyllis was his friend and she spoke so profoundly at the service that I never forgot her or her words. I met Joy on December 21 and we had our first date December 28. Fast forward to planning the wedding, there was no one else we could think of to bless our union. She has been in a covenanted union with her partner for almost 11 years and who better to counsel us and bless us at the beginning of ours.
The ceremony itself was intimately reflective and included most of my DIY projects. Instead of having an aisle runner I painted a floor cloth for us to stand on during the ceremony that will go on our wall when we finish decorating. We included symbols and rituals in the ceremony that celebrated our African American heritage. Our monogram was the Andinkra symbol bese saka and at the end of the ceremony we jumped the broom. I’ve included below the information we placed in the program to explain these things to our guests.
BESE SAKA “sack of cola nuts”
Symbol of affluence, power, abundance, plenty, togetherness and unity
The cola nut played an important role in the economic life of Ghana. A widely-used cash crop, it is closely associated with affluence and abundance.
This symbol also represents the role of agriculture and trade in bringing peoples together.
The Bese Saka symbol embodies our hopes and dreams for a united and prosperous future together.
The Broom Jump
The “Broom Jumping” is a ritual to remind us of a time when vows between enslaved blacks were not legally sanctioned.
In the defiant spirit of love, Black folk created ways to celebrate and bless their chosen unions. Many choose to continue the traditional African marriage custom of jumping the broom - a ritual symbolizing new life and commitment. Although they were not legally recognized, these traditional unions formed the foundations of strong families.
Same-sex couples already create strong, vibrant families. We live the lives of married couples, and are often blessed in our places of worship, creating commitment ceremonies and bonds of faith – just as the broom-jumpers of years past. Although our marriage is is not yet legal in the US, we hope that one day our family will have access to the legal securities that accompany a marriage license.
Favorite design and diy highlights? Between our logo, which was created by Samantha of ESS Creative , and the loft where the ceremony/party was held. I went to art school with Sam so we understand each others aesthetic and work process and she designed a logo that embodied the personality of the night. The loft which is the event space of Pressure Point Recording Studios was so amazing. The minute we walked into the bare loft during the daytime we knew it was it. The glass bar and huge windows were so dramatic and elegant.
Three adjectives that describe the day are:
Surreal, Blessed, Ordained
I can’t believe she got that beautiful dress for $199. I am so jealous!
Congrats Aeleise you look amazing, the ceremony was well thought out and beautiful
so beautiful…i love it…such a thoughtful & meaningful ceremony! the broom jumping comments brought tears to my eyes…
congrats!