Image via Wikimedia Commons
While it’s true that I am ridiculously excited by the prospect of registering – and a little bit intimidated too; how do I decide between Egyptian cotton or Supima? Will I ever really use a pressure cooker? – I am also enjoying the less material gifts that planning my wedding has bestowed upon me.
I live in a very liberal state, Prop 8 notwithstanding, and an extremely liberal area within that state. But at work I was faced with an unstated policy that sexuality was not something that should ever be discussed openly. I had two coworkers, both of whom I was certain were gay, who wouldn’t refer to their partners even when the conversation warranted it. I needed the job so I kept my mouth shut. It was easy for a while because I wasn’t dating anyone. But then I met Liz and I wanted to sing my happiness from every rooftop.
I began to discuss “my girlfriend” whenever possible, but those who wanted to could easily translate that into “female friend.” It wasn’t until I showed up at work with a diamond engagement ring on and began discussing wedding plans that people finally began to acknowledge my relationship for what it was. And some, clearly, had some issues with it. But I am delighted to report that with my growing excitement has come growing acceptance. And also the discovery that more of my coworkers were gay than I’d previously even guessed at. As soon as I began to openly discuss my relationship and wedding, they began crawling out of their closets.
My happiest moment came a few weeks ago when a colleague whom I’d previously guessed might be gay or bisexual, but then had mentioned her husband during one casual conversation, suddenly admitted to me that her husband was actually… her wife. They had, sadly, not had the time nor the money to get married during the brief period during which it was legal in my state, but they are planning a big shindig with lots and lots of dancing once Prop 8 is overturned. We recently had a grand time discussing venues and wedding attire while smiling from ear to ear.
Harvey Milk said, “I hope that every professional gay will say ‘enough’, come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help.” I am thankful that my wedding has given me that opportunity.
