When we first got engaged, I did tons of research on the legal documents we might need to file. Then I took a step back and thought, wait, we don’t have much to will here. We’re young and in love…do we really need to protect the future of our hand me down kitchen appliances and IKEA furniture? ‘Cause that’s about all we have to our names. Plus, we are planning to move in a year. And hopefully, the move will take us someplace more gay friendly, where we can get these same rights without a bill from a lawyer. But, even if we find ourselves living in a state that recognizes our marriage, what about when we cross the border to a less friendly state? In the worst of worst case scenarios, I want to know that Ginger will be with me at the hospital making decisions for me if I am unable, and making sure that my wishes are being carried out.
We found two online resources for getting this relatively simple paperwork (called a living will and/or health care power of attorney) at a reasonable price; Legal Zoom and Rainbow Law (which uses Rocket Lawyer). I picked Legal Zoom because I liked that they had an option to also have our health care proxy info printed on a card the size and weight of a credit card that we could keep in our wallets for emergencies. I thought Legal Zoom was very easy to work with. We finished the questionnaire in one afternoon, and everything arrived just as promised in less than a week.
To make it official we had some friends (one who happens to be a notary public) witness and notarize the doc’s. I told them about what happened to that family in Florida. And, of course, I could hardly make it through the story without crying, and there were plenty of tears and hugs to go around. Once we had signed every page, our friends felt like they had been a part of a big milestone in our lives. It reminded me of the belief that, in Judaism, a wedding starts when you get engaged; it isn’t a day, it’s a process. We were a little transformed last Friday…a little closer to being married. Who knew health care decisions could be romantic?