Photo by So You’re EnGAYged.
What comes first: setting the budget or researching the cost? This is how my brain decided to deal with the words “wedding budget.” It then proceeded to think of all these other questions at 5 AM in the morning: How much does a wedding cost–and not the “national average,” but a no-frills, D.I.Y., elegant wedding? What is a good deal on stationary or wedding outfits? Do we want Pink Champagne or Pink Cava? How do we do all this while trying to be eco-friendly, locally supporting, politically aware and totally US?!?
A few weeks ago, Alex and I finally made it down to Cornwall, the location of our first wedding in April, for some family time, summer festivities and wedding planning beginnings. With that came the opportunity to visit venues, talk to caterers and sit down with her folks. All of these conversations were wonderful, fruitful and enlightening, but before we were finally able to talk budgets I kept worrying about budgets.
Now let me break it down for you a little bit first: I don’t like money. I’ve got demands about money and I haven’t had the best (or worst) budgeting success. Given that I’m 24, I am learning. However, words are my strong suit, not dollars or pounds. So what does all this mean? It meant I was terrified of making a budgeting or just having to TALK about money–with anyone.
And yet, now somehow Alex and I have a rough budget for our UK (and soon CA) wedding. So, since I somehow managed it (and Wasabi‘s done hers too!) I’m gonna pass along a few of the bits that saved me so far (in no particular order):
1. Talk to your fiance/e: Alex and I are students so we don’t have a lot of disposable income (some would say none). Our families, however, are supportive and want to help us throw a few parties. Still, it was so important to me that Alex and I sat down first to discuss our visions of budgets, payments and scale. There were definitely numbers that made us go “ew” and others with which we were comfortable. We decided what we wanted to save up for ourselves and where we were cool with family support. Our separate visions for the ceremonies also started to come together.
2. Talk to your family/friends: The people around you are probably stoked that you’re getting hitched and may want to contribute in their own way. Heck, we just found out an old soccer teammate of mine decorates cakes for a hobby–cha-ching, CA wedding cake! (You rock, MB.)
3. Read up: Wedding planning books, magazines, the internet.
- Books: The wedding planning book A Very Pink Wedding was a great start. It gave us specific information for the UK but also access to a budget spreadsheet download: a meticulous list including everything from ice sculptures to drag queens! (Note: we won’t be having either.)
- Magazines: We’ve also bought a few wedding magazines for flickage, D.I.Y. ideas and glossy prices. The Knot has been the best bang for our buck so far, but I really wish there was a LGBT wedding magazine out there (hint hint Kelly and Lara!).
- Internet: Um, you’re here.
4. Research your area: The cost of venues, caterers, flowers or drinks are just some of the things that can vary from place to place, season to season. Before we started visiting the possible venues in Alex’s hometown, we didn’t know that hiring a venue was a minimum 500 GBP charge and usually came in a catering and/or accommodation mandatory package. And as Ms. Sparrow wrote, you won’t know what is in your price range until you check it out!
5. Learn to use an Excel spreadsheet: This one I’m still working on, but damn, is it nifty when the little boxes add up automatically for you. (It’s been very handy for cut-throat guest list activities, too.)
Budgeting for lovers…I now think it’s possible. More budgeting adventures, and maybe even some money-saving tips, to follow. I promise it’s not too bad.
I love my spreadsheets! It helps me feel so much more organized, even if it just giant lists of DIY projects I want to do.
I’m working on posting about my adventures in wedding bugeting soon! Also, I had the same dilema, do you pick a number, or research the costs. We let cost research drive our budget, and that worked really nicely with the whole making it “us” with our values part. We found vendors that used seasonal, organic flowers, and a venue that felt like us (while of course scouring for deals). Then we let the prices of the vendors we like dictate the total.
Also, I’ve been using google docs for my spreadsheets instead of Excel. I had never used google docs before, but it’s been really easy and I don’t feel like I lost a ton of functionality. Plus, I like that you can tag cells with notes. I would recommend google docs as a way to put together your budget if you then want to share it with parents and let everyone edit it as time goes on. I’m doing the same thing with the guest list, and I like how easy it is to share and edit with multiple other people.