Quakers ‘to allow gay marriages’ (BBC News)
Archive for July, 2009
Quakers 'to allow gay marriages'
Posted on July 31st, 2009 by Lara. No Comments
Finding a Short Wedding Dress
Posted on July 31st, 2009 by Ms. Grrrl. 6 Comments
The dress… it has arrived.
And I could not be happier.
It was a looooong road to get here. When we first got engaged, I shopped around the internet looking at photo after photo after photo of wedding dresses and by doing so, came to the conclusion that I really wanted a short one.
Then I took some of my co-workers with me to a bridal salon and didn’t realize that I would basically have to get naked in front of them. It was awkward and I didn’t feel right in any of the dresses. Plus… there were none that rose above floor length.
Then my maid of honor took me to David’s Bridal (where she had gotten her dress) and I really didn’t feel right in any of their dresses — they made me feel chubby and the material was all itchy and I felt like I was in a wedding factory. (She looked awesome in her dress from them — it just wasn’t for me).
Right after our failed David’s Bridal escapade, we decided to walk around SoHo and look in all the fancy shops for a fancy dress that I could wear as a wedding dress and we came across Morgane le Fay. A shop that sold the most beautiful big, white, float-on-air dresses I had ever seen. They were nothing like your ordinary wedding dress, they were unique and beautiful… and… of course… three times my budget. I was ready to get one (but my cost conscious maid of honor talked me down).
And then, after scrolling through (literally) 90 pages of etsy.com wedding dresses, I came across Janay Andrews of Janay A. Handmade and I fell in love with her amazing wedding dress separates. EVERYONE in my life thought I was CRAZY to order a custom dress without seeing the designers work in person and without getting measured at her shop. And about two days ago, I was starting to agree with them. In fact, I had a not-so-minor breakdown in which I made Beau agree that we could fit it into the budget for me to go back to Morgane le Fay and buy a $3,000 dollar wedding dress last minute because I was SURE that my custom dress would be awful.
But… it arrived in the mail yesterday and Beau laced me up when she got home (there is no way I could wait until our wedding day to get her opinion), and we both agree… it is PERFECT.
I can’t believe how lucky I am… I have a custom, handmade, dupioni silk wedding dress with lace details that cost me $755, including shipping and I ADORE it. I really do.
Featured Vendor Profile: Celia Milton, Celebrant
Posted on July 29th, 2009 by Lara. No Comments
In speaking with Celia Milton, it becomes absolutely apparent that she deeply cares about her profession and her couples. She truly believes that “the whole process, from the first phone call (well, maybe even from the first time the couple looks at a potential officiant’s website) should feel exciting, lighthearted, and comfortable”. By the way, Celia, I would love to know more about this chocolate sharing! :)
Tell us a little bit about your business!
I am a civil celebrant based in New Jersey, and I have been performing weddings and comittment ceremonies for about five years. I try to make the planning as fun and meaningful as the ceremony itself, and I encourage my couples to think out of the box and create a day that is truly personal, significant, and joyous. Chocolate sharing? Ring bearer dog? Tribal drummers? Handfastings? Why not!
How did you get into doing what you do?
I started and ran an event planning /catering company for about 18 years (ouch, that hurts), so I’d always been interested in the milestones that mark our lives. I had graduated with my divinity degree from Union Seminary, in the City of New York, just about to register for another semester at Fordham, in a program for spiritual direction. The universe apparantly has a great sense of humor and spontenaiety, and instead, I was moved to to start training at Celebrant USA, in Montclair. Although I love celebrations and ritual, I never really thinking that I’d actually become a “real” officiant. Two weeks after I graduated, I was doing my first ceremony! Thank you universe!
What do you wear when you’re doing what you do?
Usually a cool black suit and some great funky jewelry. I can wear a black robe if a couple wants that look, but in any case, I really prefer to be basically invisible. I want the attention to be on the couple, not me.
How is your business “pro-gay”, or how have you changed your business to be gay-friendly?
One of the reasons I decided to “grow” this practice was because I was disturbed by the way many couples, both gay and traditional, were handled by mainline churches. I was also keenly aware that many couples without religious affiliations felt there was no where to turn for help in creating a significant and moving ceremony. A decision that is this important deserves an officiant’s total support and enthusiasm, not a grudging agreement to “make it legal”. To me, the right to marry is as much a personal civil rights issue as it is a loving committment.
What do you love about what you do?
What’s not to love! I meet the most interesting and diverse couples, I get to hear their love stories, and be part of a day that is like no other in their life. I could be officiating in a cow pasture one day, a prison the next, a museum the next, Yankee Stadium after that. It’s all just so much fun, in addition to being so heartfelt. My practice renews my faith in life and love every day.
If you have worked at/done work for a gay wedding, what is one thing you had to change your assumptions about?
I didn’t have to change my assumptions, about any of my couples. Each wedding proves to me that there are as many wedding styles as they are couples; from very traditional to completely NOT. It’s all up to the couple, I just want to help them create the ceremony that is right for them.
Do you have a favorite “moment” that happens while you’re doing your job?
Wow…so many moments, so little time… I love reading their questionnaires for the first time, getting to know them better and beginning to think about what to write…but I love that first kiss during the ceremony too. All that being said, my favorite moments are the ones we can’t plan; the unpredictable ring bearers and flower girls; the brides and grooms who smile through happy tears, the unruly dogs in the wedding party. A wedding isn’t a tableau, like “The Last Supper” ; it’s a fluid and spontaneous happening, and many times, the unexpected can be the unforgettable.
What should couples look for in an officiant or celebrant?
You should feel that your celebrant is a happy, supportive partner to collaborate with as you move towards your wedding day; someone who listens to your ideas, makes good suggestions, and acts as a resource for any questions you have. You should feel sure that your officiant wants to make your ceremony more than you could ever hope for, and has the skills, the energy and the compassion to follow that through.
Rave time!
“Our families and friends are all commenting on our unique and personal ceremony. Everyone is asking, “where did you find her?”. Finding Celia was a gift. We instantly felt comfortable with her and enjoyed the entire process of working with Celia to create a ceremony that reflected our personalities and included our varied family traditions. If you are looking to create a meaningful ceremony, you definitely want to contact Celia Milton.”
“Celia is amazing, she works magic. In the short amount of time she has to interact with you, she has the fabulous talent of really nailing down your personalities and writing a ceremony that reflects this. Everything based on the individuals, it is not a cookie cutter mold. Celia is full of many wonderful ideas & suggestions, and she knows how to deliver. Our wedding was perfect, and her words allowed us to shine.”
“Celia provided an extremely unique and personal ceremony for us. Everyone who attended our wedding was spellbound by our love story as she told it, tailoring our ceremony to who we are, why we were getting married and what we valued. It was one of a kind and started our wedding day off right. Not only did it bring all of our guests intimately into our wedding day, but it reminded everyone there of why they got married, or the love that they’re looking for.”
SilkScreened Ties
Posted on July 28th, 2009 by Kelly. 2 Comments
Ties are one of the only times a dude gets to show some personality in his attire, so having a killer tie is a must. Unless you go with a custom suit, the suit shops out there just don’t have a giant range of non-boring suits. Maybe a bright color? Or perhaps a bit of silkscreen goodness is in order to go even further. Not only can you have a tie that literally no one else has, you can really think of some great designs to add to your tie.
What about: your names, your wedding date in funky typography, your engagement picture, or just a design you love.
images via toybreaker
While this is something you could DIY yourself with a lot of trouble, spend the $30 and buy one over on etsy.
Who Proposes?
Posted on July 28th, 2009 by Erica. 2 Comments
Last night, a newly engaged customer of mine and I were ooh’ing and aah’ing over each other’s rings. We were both glowing in excitement about our upcoming big days when she asked, “How long have you been engaged?”
Not a question I’d gotten yet, my answer was off the cuff, “Well, I am engaged to a woman. I proposed to her in April, but she proposed back last weekend. So, I guess 3 months or two weeks!”
(Yes, Alex got down on one knee on July 11th–and now I have a ring! Yeah!)
The best photo we could get--it was cold and windy! Design by Les Grimshaw
Since announcing our engagement to anyone who will listen, we have gotten loads of questions about weddings, ceremonies, rings and, most interestingly to me, proposing: Who proposed? How did you decide? Will you both have rings? That sort of thing.
For us, it was just something that came up in our conversations about marriage and felt as natural as two women getting married (i.e. totally natural): we both wanted to propose to each other; we both wanted to be proposed to; and we both wanted rings–but they didn’t have to match.
(Example: Alex’s ring, different designer)
Tied with a ribbon; Design by Beth Cyr
I love that Alex and I proposed to one another and got to do it in our own ways. I asked her parents and then proposed to her where, when and with the ring I wanted. She got to do the same. Now we both have rings we love, and most importantly, shared those moments together that we will never forget.
Of course, each couple has their own engagement story, but the lack of precedence and tradition with same-sex engagements makes it that much more fun to hear the stories! Alex’s sister’s now-civil-partner proposed with a vintage silver band; she then got an unexpected engagement ring (with sparkles) as a birthday present. Another friend casually proposed to his fiance in his office before asking for help with his broken printer; later, they had engagement rings made for themselves. In every moment, it was perfect for each of the couples.
This is why I get excited when people–family, friends or strangers–ask questions about my engagement and impending weddings. Yes, some of the questions can get tiring, but with each reply, I give a big grin: this is me and Alex–and we’re doing it this way because we can!
- erica
Ms.Grrrl’s DC U Street Engagement Photos
Posted on July 27th, 2009 by Kelly. 5 Comments
You all have been reading about all of the crafty goodness that Ms.Grrrl has been up to lately because her wedding is very very close! I’m lucky enough to be photographing their wedding in a matter of weeks. But I totally forgot to post about their amazing engagement session that was on 14th and U Street in downtown DC.
images courtesy of Kelly Prizel Photography
Now aren’t you glad I remembered to finally post these? And reading all the projects that Ms.Grrrl has going on is having me countdown the days till their wedding.