So You're EnGAYged

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So the hunt for Beau’s wedding attire has finally been kicked up a notch.  Thank God!  (Her avoidance of the task was really starting to stress me out).  I think the thing that allowed us to kick it into gear was a new undergarment that totally kicks ass: a binding shirt.  Beau had noticed them at our local feminist and trans owned sex shop, Baltimore’s own “Sugar,” and had mentioned wanting to get one when I started talking about buying a waist cincher that I tried on at Nordstrom’s and promptly fell in love with.

I feel like people (especially brides) are always talking about how fancy undergarments are good investments and that it makes sense to spend some money on them — and let me tell you… I am a true believer now that Beau has this binding shirt — first of all, she looks fantastic, but probably more importantly, she feels confident — and it shows… which, in turn, makes her look more fantastic.

Now, before everyone goes out and buys one of these bad boys, it would be remiss of me not to let y’all know that although they hurt way less than ye olde ace bandage binding — they’re not pain free.  But hey… sometimes we put up with a little bit of pain for the sake of beauty… those of us who wear high heels on a regular basis could tell you that.

So, anyway… after the purchase of the binding shirt, I was able to convince Beau to kick the wedding attire hunt into full gear.  She had been eyeing this ensemble from J Crew — and after a little cajoling, I got her to go with me to the store to try it on.  Well… FIVE J Crews later, we find out that the product is online only.  But, she was able to try on a different J Crew vest, which fit her amazingly — so, I have high hopes for the online order that is arriving in only a matter of days.

Fingers Crossed!

So we have been telling you for a few weeks So You’re EnGAYged was going to have a booth at NYC Pride. It finally happened Sunday, and we were overwhelmed with support. All day we had couples and people telling us it was high time something like So You’re EnGAYged had started.

We had Mallory from Blue Canary Events come by and help couples out almost all day! She even helped us break down the booth which showed her true ‘hand on’ approach to weddings.

That’s from the left: Mallory Howard, Me(Kelly Prizel) and Katie Fischer Cohen. Katie was 6(!) months pregnant and came out to show her support to Pride anyway. She helped couples realize how affordable custom invitations can be. Even I was shocked when I looked at her portfolio chock full of custom designs and illustrations. Can you tell I’m totally smitten with Katie and Mallory? They were such an asset to our booth and great vendors for our site.

Here’s some of the awesome people that came to visit us at New York Pride:

Tomorrow see So You’re EnGAYged’s New York City Pride 09 booth!! Hope you had a killer Pride everyone!

How is it I have never seen a rainbow cupcake before? I saw them at NYC Pride this weekend and went home to google how to bake them. Would you know the internet is chock full of recipes and ideas on how to make rainbow cupcakes?


Images via Lick the Bowl Clean
The easiest way to get rainbow cupcakes is to make separate batter for each color. Need step by step instructions? Check out the recipes below.

Great recipes here, here and here.

Gay Pride Parade marks 40 years after NYC uprising (Washington Post)

I love it when gorgeous minds think alike. As it turns out, fellow blogger Ms. Grrrl and I have very similar taste when it comes to wedding rings: we’ve both had our eye on Beth Cyr’s beautiful tree bark wedding ring.

Beth Cyr's Tree Bark Wedding Ring

It was the ring I found in early July 2008 that made me say instantly ‘That’s the ring!’ and while it wasn’t until April 2009 that I got down on one knee, I very much enjoyed the process of finding and designing the perfect ring for Alex.

For me, detail is everything. When I started looking for an engagement ring, I considered where the ring would come from, what materials were being used, who might benefit from my purchase, and how a ring might represent Alex and our relationship. I also come from an extended family that knows more about diamonds that I ever thought existed—colors, flaws, cuts, settings, suppliers. Even with Alex not really wanting a big rock, it was all still a lot to consider.

Planning our wedding to be as sustainable as possible, I first considered recycled materials. To start with, a friend pointed me to Brilliant Earth, Dawes Designs and Green Karat–all of which use recycled gold and recycled or conflict-free diamonds. But, they were too flashy for Alex. I then checked out Love and Pride, thinking, hey, it would rock if 10% of my purchase went to an LGBT org. Still, they weren’t really her either. Of course, I made it back to Etsy .

I knew I wanted to propose to Alex under the oak tree in her hometown where we carved our initials on our first Valentine’s together. With that in mind, I searched Etsy for ‘tree bark wedding rings.’ More than a few designs came up, but nothing was as stunning as Beth Cyr’s Jewelry and I instantly fell in love with her tree bark wedding ring. I contacted her immediately, telling her a little about Alex and myself, what I was interested in, and about when I was thinking of proposing. I also wanted ask if she was OK making a ring for a same-sex couple–because I wanted as much love to go into this ring as possible. Turns out, one of her first wedding sets were for two women in Atlanta, Georgia—where she’s based—and she was delighted to design something for Alex.

For the design I had chosen, there were a few different options to consider:

Metal: For her rings, Beth uses silver, gold, white gold and rose gold. Alex only wears silver so it was an easy pick, but I almost splurged on white gold and I quite like the rose gold for myself.

Patina: To enhance the tree bark texture and design, all the rings comes standard with a patina. I chose a ring without a patina for Alex, however, for two reasons: I wanted it shiny (especially if I wasn’t getting her a sparkly stone) and the oils in Alex’s skin tarnishes silver more quickly than most. Hence, over time and wear, the pattern and texture would be brought out naturally.

Size: Alex and I were both sized at jewellers near our hometowns when we stopped by. However, Beth also sells a handy ring-sizer available through her shop. You know, that way you can measure your lady or gentleman’s finger while they sleep to keep the surprise!

Width: The tree park wedding ring comes standard in a few different widths for men (6, 8, 10 mm) and women (3, 4mm). Alex likes her rings a bit wider, but has small fingers (size K). In the end, we decided on a 5mm width ring for her.

Engraving: As I was purposing underneath the oak tree with our initials, I sent Beth a photo of the carving to have it duplicated as an engraving on the inside of the ring. In my mind, the engraving made the ring truly ours. I do tend to get almost weepy though at most engravings.

Diamonds/Stones: Finally, there was part of me that wanted Alex to have just a little bit of extra-shine and family jewels in her ring. My mom (very supportive) offered four diamond chips from her mom’s original wedding ring set. They put just that extra touch on the ring for Alex– and they were recycled!

Alex's Ring

Any design details you particularly love about your own engagement ring experiences? What did you end up deliberating about?

– erica

Call me Raven, all my friends do.

I moved to the Bay Area from Southern California three years ago to write a comic book for a website aimed at pre-teens. That company eventually went under but I found a good job at a local hospital and decided to stay put. That was a wise choice because two years later I met the love of my life here… online. Yes, Liz and I are a success story for the match-making website OKCupid (which we naturally refer to as “Fan-freakin’-tasticCupid”).

After dating only a few months, I had already begun surreptitiously telling my friends “this is it; she’s the one!” I started shopping online for engagement rings whenever I had a spare moment at work shortly after Liz and I moved in together last December. But I couldn’t figure out her ring size, try as I might. Finally a close friend told me to just out-and-out ask. “She’ll know why you’re asking for her ring size, but that’s okay, she won’t know when it’s coming and she’ll probably totally forget about it by the time you propose.” Good advice, perhaps, but that’s not quite how things went.

When I asked Liz for her ring size she said she didn’t know it. Then she grinned somewhat shyly and said “but if you’re asking why I think you’re asking then you should know I’ve always dreamed of receiving my Grandmother’s engagement ring. My mom’s keeping it for me.” An hour or so later, Liz had called her mom and confirmed that we could pick up the ring that week. My head was spinning a bit. I’m a planner by nature and things were straying from the script in my head. But once I had the ring and we’d had it cleaned and appraised, then I got to plan out the best day of my life: the day I proposed.

And that, my friends, is how I found a great blog called Two Brides and stumbled across the announcement for SoYou’reEnGAYged.com. I’ve been an avid reader since day one, and couldn’t be more thrilled to join the ranks of SYE’s bloggers.

In my someecard email newsletter this morning I found out they have an entire section of Gay Pride Month e- cards! Now I’m off to find more people who get this sense of humor… :)