So You're EnGAYged, A Gay Wedding Blog

Hi! I’m Wasabi (the redhead). Ginger and I are getting married in two years on March 4, 2011. I am happy to have found this little place in the blogosphere to talk about planning my wedding.

This is what I want out of our wedding:

1) a really meaningful, intimate ceremony

2) lots of family time

3) a great party

…On a practical budget, and full of love.

Ginger and I met in college. It was at a party in my dorm that got completely out of hand. The kind of party you would never expect to meet your future wife during. After dating for a couple of years, we graduated and moved to New Orleans together. These days, I am working full time at a university, while getting my MBA at night. New Orleans is an easy city to love, and if there was snow here, Ginger and I might never leave. Ginger rides, and I ski, but in New Orleans, we mostly just watch competitions on TV and dream about being knee deep in powder. Actually, I think we would both say that one of the moments when we knew our relationship had potential was when we realized we could each keep up with each other on the slopes.

Ginger and I have been together for four years now. We got engaged in January, and we are planning to get married on our six year anniversary. In a lucky twist of fate, we are both from Maryland, so we have decided to have a MD/DC area wedding.  Right now, I am in the giddy planning stages where there isn’t anything on my to do list particularly. We have two years to plan, which is an exciting and a daunting thought. I really want our wedding day to be about family, love, and our community. We will be planning our wedding from New Orleans during trips to the DC/MD area for holidays and family visits. This will probably be a challenge in some ways, but it will be so meaningful to us to get married at home.

Wasabi Bio|Posts

I would rather not have to hear:

1) “Whose parents are the bride’s parents?”

2) “Are you going to have a REAL wedding?”

3) “Is that legal in Maryland now?”

4) “Oh, waiting two years is good. Maybe you will have more states to choose from.”

I don’t have to explain to you why I wince when I hear stuff like this. I just have to remind myself that our friends and family have been overwhelmingly supportive of Ginger and I, and our relationship, and well, we all get these crazy questions, right? What have you heard that got under your skin?

Faith and Mike serving their own cake.

A Practical Wedding was one of my first favorite wedding blogs, and today’s posted wedding was just as charming as usual. My favorite idea: The bride and groom cut and served their wedding cake!  Faith writes:

This was by far the most meaningful part of the meal. We wanted to feed everyone from the time they got there to the time they left, and to serve our sweet cake together to all our friends and family was a good way to do a “receiving” line too.

I think this is a genius way to make sure you get to see and chat with everyone at your wedding, and at the same time, this ensures that you don’t spend all too much time talking to your dad’s exceptionally voluble business partner. After all, they’ll have to scoot out of the way so that the next person can have some.

Wasabi Bio|Posts

I love mardi gras! It’s the best time to be in New Orleans, and,there is nothing better for nursing a slight hangover the day after a costume ball than watching the Oscar’s. If you haven’t seen it yet, you must go watch Dustin Lance Black’s acceptance speech. It was was awesome!

When I saw this dress I immediately thought wedding. How beautiful!

From Susan Stapleton, Las Vegas Style Examiner

Our wedding site

It was a typical girls’ night at the Hole four years ago when I first laid eyes on my fiance – the East Village gay bar pulsated with the typical hipster lesbo crowd. I was sure I’d never find love amongst all those hideous trucker caps and inescapable fauxhawk hairdos. That is, until my friend Jenni introduced me to the woman who played drums in her former band. George*. Sigh. It’s a cliché but from the moment we were introduced it felt as if we were the only two people in that smelly, sticky club.

Fast forward four years, three apartments, two cats, and one death (my mother’s) later, to last Fourth of July. George proposed and I gleefully accepted. I’d been so looking forward to being engaged that I was totally unprepared for all the questions that followed our announcement: Have you set the date? Where’s it going to be? And the inevitable: Is that legal?

The one question we were spared was the tried and true: Which one of you is the groom?  George isn’t trans but she doesn’t identify with much girly (other than, say, her secret passion for romantic comedies and soap operas).  It was clear to us both that she’d be the one proposing and I’d be the one sporting the sparkly bauble, and that she’d be suited up for her walk down the aisle and I’d be the one in the big white dress.

George still plays drums in her busy Brooklyn-based band and works full time as a chef. I’m a full-time editor at a magazine and a part-time photography grad student. We knew we wanted to get married this coming summer because next year I’ll be hard at work on my masters thesis. But we also knew that with both of us so busy we’d need some serious planning help. We came up with a budget, found a planner (more on her later) and picked a spot.

Though we live in Brooklyn, we we wanted to say our vows outdoors. We’ll be married June 14th, rain or shine, in the backyard of a small inn in New York’s Hudson Valley, right in the shadow of the Shawangunk Mountains. We started out with the idea of a small wedding, but it quickly grew to an invite list of 125. We’re having a biggish wedding party too — five friends on each side, some in dresses, some in suits — all ladies. Oh yeah, and two flower girls.

I think if I had gotten engaged to a man instead of a woman, I’d be struggling to make it as offbeat, indie, and anti-establishment as possible. I’d probably tie the knot at City Hall and throw a big barbecue. But because I’m not, because I’m marrying this gorgeous, sexy, boyish woman, I feel an incredibly strong urge to participate in all the rituals of the culture. For lots of reasons, partly because I’m generally neurotic,  partly because of gross wedding consumerisim, and  partly because of negative ideas about gay marriage that I’ve more than likely picked up from the culture at large, it’s been a struggle for me to own this identity of “bride.” Now, seven months into the planning process, I’m finally figuring out what kind of wedding I want, and who I am in all of this.

Thanks everyone for reading. I look forward to answering any and all questions and hearing about your wedding plans too.

xo

Roxy

*All names have been changed, by the way. Roxy and George are our two adorable cats:

George on the left, Roxy on the right

So as you may know, I’m the lady behind this website and frequent blogger of Two Brides. However, I am shutting down Two Brides to blog full time here. But I couldn’t let this site exist without my recaps of MY wedding. Our wedding was September 21, 2008

That night- the night before our wedding, we proceeded to go to Hotel Monaco. We had decided that for us to have our getting ready shots in Hotel Monaco, we would sleep the night before in the hotel and spend our actual wedding night at home. So we went to bed in fluffy sheets. Cue 230am. I’m too excited to sleep. I think about the day coming and grab a coke from the fridge. I smile and get up, pace the room. I go back to sleep for a little only to wake up again. Too much excitement. I rearrange all the hotel furniture for the day to my liking. I wait.

As the sun finally began to shine and 8am started to become a reality rather than a far off dream, I took a picture of Natalie sleeping that still makes me smile.

Fuzzy, warm, out of focus because I jumpy from the excitement.

So I am super excited and wake Natalie up- I love it when I wake up and cuddle Natalie. Because we have been in one place for 8 hours, all wrapped up in sheets, it smells just like Natalie. That day was no different and I enjoyed it before sprinting out of bed. Natalie laughed about me already arranging furniture. And cleaning.

And just as we are waking up, guess who shows up right one time? Megan and Jamie from Baltimore Hair and Makeup. I loved them so much and they started the day off so right. My mom arrived minutes afterward and they got to work on her. I worried a little as the time went on why Kate and Lauren had not arrived. They did eventually- they were just 20 minutes later because we had asked them to pick up a few things.

My mom sitting and waiting for her makeup to start.

Kate getting her makeup done.

Natalie was wonderful and got her hair done first while I ordered us breakfast. Oh!! I forgot to mention- we got ready TOGETHER. I loved it! Best decision because we got to share the whole day with each other and get excited. We hung out in our nightgowns and robes, sipping OJ and getting gorgeous.

Lauren getting ready- she forgot something to wear while getting her hair and makeup done. So we used a Hotel robe that they provide- how cool does she look?

We talked about small things, about everyday things. And then we heard a knock!! It was Emma and Marie- Natalie and my best friends. Here’s the thing, we didn’t have attendants other than our siblings because of the drama and the cost. Our friends got ready with us, got to wear what they wanted, and had a fab time. All without the stupid bridesmaid expectations and role.

The best friends ever!!!

I am a paper fanatic. I drool at letterpress. I love to run my hand over a textured, embossed invite. It’s a little sad but true.
So when Milkfed press joined up with Leigh Wells, you can imagine my excitement. Then behold, they designed invites with lgbt weddings in mind!I love love love the silhouettes and wish I could have one just to frame they are so amazing.

How can you not love these? All images are courtest of Milkfed Press Blog. I was so excited about these I had to post them now and am now off to email them about how badly I would love to do a vendor profile on them.